We may have a problem

Our oldest?

She has a bit of the stereotypical red-headed temper.  And stubbornness.

I decided to take a break from writing the story of Quinn's birth to bring you a few exhibits to prove the supposition.

Case Number One: Toddler wants the tent out of her room.  Hilarity ensues.

Did you note how she totally played it off in the end?  "Oh, I need to take my Halloween teddy to Daddy's office now."

Yeahhhhhhh.

Case Number Two: there was the day she played with some fun kitchen items at our friend's flat while we decided where to go for dinner.  Once decided, we went to gather the girls.  Harper INSISTED on taking the colander with her.  Since nothing would be harmed, we said fine.  Here are a few shots of a girl holding hands with Daddy on one side and clutching her stainless steel buddy on the other.

The people at the restaurant thought it was hilarious.  The German guys at the next table laughed and laughed.

Stubborn.  And tenacious. Hopefully the traits will prove to be a strength for the young woman she becomes.

And now to add a little about the littlest Golson girl. Quinn is growing fast and starting to smile and coo.  I attempted to get a coo on video, but instead got some milk on the newly cleaned changing pad.

And one more for good measure.  Pay no attention to the banging in the background.  Big sister was "cooking" using her play kitchen and babbling away about it.  

You may have noticed

The blog has a new look!  It's not quite done yet, and I'll have details about the design and process for you soon. I am so excited to have a pretty place to share our adventures, and I can't wait to tell you more about Jumping Jax Designs.

Remembering the end of pregnancy

Kind of like a "Things I Don't Want to Forget" entry at this point, but better late than never.

We moved to the new apartment when I was 37 weeks pregnant.  And Shanghai was hot, hot, hot.  And I was tired.  And Harper was excited.

I entertained her (perhaps too often) with episodes of "Yo Gabba Gabba" and cuddles.

Our normal TV watching pose

Harper would climb into my lap and make herself comfortable by leaning on the bump.  Sometimes, she would even bring a snack.  The cuddling became routine, and I enjoyed time with my toddles each day.  Neil added a few movies to our routine- the biggest hits were "Aladdin" and "Monster's Inc."  

Another day, another cuddle.  Excuse the swollen... well, everything.

I thanked God every single day for Ayi Wu.  She adores Harper, and Harper loves playing with Ayi.  Their relationship allowed me to rest and have some time to adjust to Shanghai on my own terms before  baby Quinn arrived.  

I don't actually know where to start

So, I'll opt for where I left off.  The move.

We moved out of the hotel residence apartment to our current (permanent) apartment home on the 27th of July, which also happened to be Neil's birthday.

I was 27 weeks pregnant.  My husband was traveling more than he was home.  It was incredibly hot.  These are the things that I remember vividly.

However, I also recall how wonderful it was to receive delivery of our main shipment from the States.  All our stuff was finally here!  And in our new home!  Granted, it was not organized nor was our home set-up for everyday life- much less set-up to welcome a brand new baby in two weeks- but it was at least here!

I sat and checked off each box as it arrived.

The moving company was awesome and put all of the boxes in the rooms I requested and then unpacked and assembled anything I asked,  Neil arrived home a few hours after the delivery began, and we spent the day with just the shipment.  

On the 28th, a few friends and our driver helped us move our suitcases and a few boxes of items we acquired since moving here from the hotel to the apartment.  From that point on, we were in our home.

The to-do list was (and still is) a mile long.  And it had to be prioritized based on the baby arriving in a matter of weeks and having a place of our long-term guests, Neil's mom and dad, to comfortably stay for three weeks.  One problem.

Neil went back out of town the following Monday

Luckily, I already have amazing friends here in Shanghai, and two of them came over and helped me sort and organize both the guest bedroom and the kid's rooms.  It was amazing.  I was so pleased, but Neil was truly ecstatic when he returned home to find that the majority of his weekend had been cleared to work on other projects.

Things have changed so much since then; we are fairly settled and getting more organized every day.  The place is really starting to feel like ours.  But, I am still driven crazy by the lack of art on the walls (which are made of concrete and plaster.  One does not just hammer in a nail and solve the problem) and the unfinished nature of Quinn's nursery.  But, we have time.  And that is a good thing.

And, on a final note, here is the beginning of the long excuse as to my hiatus.  When we stayed at the hotel, the wifi signal was routed in a way that allowed access to sites usually blocked in China- Facebook, Blogger (and any blog, for that matter), Twitter, and other social networks.  We moved and POOF!  Access denied.  We knew the answer to fix the issue.  But, Neil was traveling and needed to be home to fix it.  When he got home, turns out we needed a new router too.  That piece arrived from the US along with his parents.  The day after his parents arrived... I had a baby.

And family has dominated that last four weeks as we settled into a new rhythm and pace and routine.  And I let the blog continue to what while I slept when I could, cuddled when I could, and cared for myself as best I could.

More posts to come, but know that we are are settled in and everyone is doing really well here.  I miss my family and my friends so much.

I leave you all with a few pictures of the beautiful garden walkways and fountains in our apartment complex.  The girls and I take walks through them each evening before dinner, as do many other families with small children. That time together is fast becoming one of my favorite parts of the day.

Triumphant return

Hi.

Many reasons.  We moved (!!!) and lost access to Blogger for weeks.

The week we got it back, I had a baby.

That baby likes to eat.  And I like to sleep.

Hence why there have been no updates lately.  However, I started writing again yesterday, and I will try to write a little each day to catch you all up.  I have a bunch to share.

The blog make-over should be installed soon, too.  Not only will I have content on the blog, but it should be a pretty blog soon as well!

Okay, back to the toddles and the squishy baby.  See you all very soon!

Teaser picture: Harper sharing her kisses with little sister, Quinn.

The bumpdate post

I generally don't talk about this stuff on the interwebs.  Part modesty, part fatigue from the same kind of updates over and over, part "do people really want to know about this?"  I am putting this post together based on the FAQ I get from friends and family and based on the other types of posts I see out there in blogland.  If you are curious about an aspect of the "pregnant in another country" vibe that I don't cover, feel free to ask in a comment.

Okay, so first.  I am pretty darn pregnant.  I sent Neil a text today that read, "Not to alarm you or anything, but we are having a baby in less than a month.  HOLYSHIT!"  His response, "What?!?!?"

God bless that man.

We are scheduled for a c-section on August 10, 2012 to welcome our little girl, Quinn Scarlett, to the family.  Here is a picture from a week ago- excuse the self-portrait, but my husband is traveling a ton.  I realized that I had very few pics of this pregnancy, so I decided to snap one while I was thinking about it.

Yes, I used the Instagram version.  It was cropped already, and I am lazy.  

In that shot, I am 33 weeks and a couple days.  I swear the belly has grown inches since then.  I had a play group that week, and when a mom from that group saw me the other day, she commented on how much the belly had grown. (Yes, in a tactful way.  It was sweeter than it sounds.)

Let me talk a minute about pregnancy and moving to another country.  Yes, it is daunting.  I loved my doctors in Atlanta.  I was sad to leave their practice and comfort.  When I did my research online using search engines and  message boards, I found that there were many viable options for birth here that were extremely similar to the US.  I even started an email relationship with someone who writes about health care in Shanghai- specializing in women's care- and she was a few months ahead of me in her third pregnancy.  I came around to the idea.

Neil and I had many discussions about what was best for our family.  First priority, of course, was the health of both the baby and me.  We decided our second priority was to keep the family together as much as possible; though the idea of moving out of my medical comfort zone was daunting, even more so was the idea of living separate lives for months while he started a new job and I went through third trimester.   Not to mention separating Neil and Harper for months with only a couple visits.  Since I decided that it was a viable option to have the baby in China, we set up two main criterion for the final choice.  If the anatomy ultrasound at 20 weeks found no complications or problematic developments, we would take a second trip to China to meet doctors and tour hospitals.  As long as I was happy with what I found, we would move here as a family.

The ultrasound was perfectly fine, and my doctors saw no medical reason to stay in the US.  The hospital tours and doctors I met were lovely, though different than their US counterparts, and I was able to easily decide which hospital and which doctor I preferred.  The hospitals I saw were private, international hospitals.  Very expensive for most people who don't have insurance- and can be expensive for those whose coverage does not extend as far as others.  Luckily, we have excellent coverage with Neil's company and our costs won't be much different than Harper's birth.  

I went in with a long list of questions for the doctors, and the answers were the same as they were in the States- Husband in the OR was fine, c-section procedure the same, rooming in with baby fine, duration of stay, recovery, tests and appointment schedule, all the answers were exactly what my doctor at home would have said.  The rooms were nice; the hospital clean.  I saw good practices as far as masks and gloves and hand-washing and all that jazz.  The biggest difference here is that the doctor's offices are in the hospital not a separate shop.  So the vibe of the basic appointment feels more like you've gone to the ER.  They also do "package deals" were you can pay a set discounted price for all your prenatal tests and care at once- and then they have packages for birth as well.  Seems strange at first, but I guess it makes sense when you want someone to have comprehensive care.  And no, we did not get the package deal.  Doesn't make sense this late in the game.  

I'll do a more detailed comparison of the care later.  I've only done three appointments here including the initial visit, so I have more to learn and experience before I feel comfortable commenting in full.  As of right now, I feel quite good about my level of care and my doctors.  

I have also planned a post about the cultural differences around pregnancy and birth here versus the States.  The customs and practices are different, and I am finding it interesting to navigate the social mores and taboos. 

I'll end with a short and sweet Q & A that is popular among pregnant mommy bloggers.  Again, laziness abounds.   

How far along? 34 weeks and 5 days

Last appointment: Pretty basic, but did include a growth scan.  Happy to report that the little one is at 38% for her gestational age and predicted to be around 7 lbs at birth.  I know to many of you that sounds small, but Harper was less than five pounds at birth and came home at 4 lbs, 10 oz.  Seven pounds sounds HUGE to us.  (For those who may not know, I had a medical condition last pregnancy that required 12 weeks of bed rest and delivery just before 37 weeks.  Harper was perfectly healthy but a small baby to begin with)Total weight gain/loss: Still at a loss of around 23 lbs.  The hypermesis (fancy name for my-morning-sickness-never-ended-and-was-crippling-my-life-so-I-have-drugs-to-help-me-cope) is still around though better than it was.  I have leveled off the losing, though I did drop a little this last appointment.  Nothing of concern though. 
Maternity clothes? All of them.  
Stretch marks? I didn't get as lucky this time around, and I have a few battle scars on the belly.  I'm fine with it though.  I earned them. 
Sleep: Good lord, I miss the comfort of non-pregnant sleep.  I am still getting my hours in, but I wake up all the time.  Sometimes I can go back to sleep, sometimes the insomnia kicks in.  And turning over is hard with the belly.  But, part of my hypermesis drug regime is Unisom every night, so that helps me get at least 6 hours in.  Compared to life with a newborn, I am Rip Van Wrinkle. 
Best moment this week: Harper seeing the belly move and staring like I was an alien.  She is also pretty pissed that my lap is slowly whittling away and makes her opinion known. 
Movement:  All the time, and you can see the big rolls now.  A few times I have caught people staring in public.  It's getting a bit more painful now that she is so big, but still makes me smile.  And the hiccups are amusing but are full body shakes now as well. 
Food cravings: Cereal.  Pop tarts.  PB&Js.  And I would KILL for a glass of non-heartburn inducing Sav Blanc in this heat.
Food aversions:  Anything with a strong/ spicy smell or flavor.  I am liking the mild right now.  Not being too adventurous in my food choices because I don;t want to loose my dinner. 
Labor Signs: Some Braxton Hicks contractions, especially when I am particularly active or starting to dehydrate.  Nothing uncommon.
Belly Button in or out? Ummmm, flat?  Yeah.  I guess still in technically, but it is pretty much flattened. 
What I miss: Turning over without a major to-do, getting out of a sitting position without grunting, my lap, balance.  Wine on a hot day.  Being able to chase after Harper without getting winded.  
What I am looking forward to:  Well, the baby of course.  And introducing Harper to her sister.  But I am also looking forward to the weeks of Neil being home and us being together as a family of four. 

Our fearless little fish

Okay.  I have lived the last few weeks in denial about how soon little sister will be arriving.  The reality is sinking in now though- at 8 1/2 months pregnant (34 weeks), I cannot take Harper to the pool alone anymore.  Honestly, it has been a few weeks since I tried.

You see, the kid ADORES the water.  She comes by it honestly- both Neil and I really enjoy swimming and water sports, and we actually met for the first time in a lifeguarding certification renewal class.

When you ask Harper if she would like to go to the pool, you must be ready to get her there in the next ten minutes else she might burst with excitement.  Maybe even tunnel straight through the wall a la the Tasmanian Devil if you don't move fast enough for her taste.  Reason number one I don't do it alone: I don't do much of anything quickly anymore and putting on my bathing suit is an act I can only compare to the hippo ballet dance in Fantasia.  Except it takes longer.

Also, the child has zero interest in the kiddie pool.  She likes the water feature that spills water from brightly-colored containers, but Harper has little interest in actually swimming there.  The tile on the bottom is glazed and therefore slippery, and she needs traction in her life.

Well, that leaves the "hot tub" and large lap pool/ adult pool.  The lattert has no stairs as entrance- only ladders.  And ladders are fine, but one cannot enter the water on the ladder while holding a toddler- never mind while being extremely pregnant.  And Harper is not so good at staying on the side while I get in or out.  Sister has to MOVE.

And she loves the hot tub (disclaimer: it is not the 100+ degree hot tub we know and love in America.  It's like a really warm bath- just around body temperature or a bit more). With all the benches and jets to play with, she is in heaven in there.

However, dear readers, the main reason my overly pregnant self does not take Harper to the pool alone is her fearlessness in water.  Not an ounce of healthy concern in her little toddler body.  We have had her in it since she was  a little bug, and she is incredibly comfortable maneuvering on her own and with help.  She blows bubbles, kicks her feet, jumps in from the side, pulls herself up, wants to be tossed/ thrown/ bobbed/ dunked by us.  We just started working with a kick board and the only skill we continue to have an issue with is the back float.  I mean, why hold still when you can swim?

As illustration, I have a couple videos to share.  First, in the hot tub with Daddy.

Then, Harper in the big pool.

I rest my case.

Still here.

Just got fairly busy.  A few posts in the works for you based on the past week's adventures: An update from my OB appointment on Friday, a detailing of our family trip to the Shanghai Science and Technology Museum on Saturday, some information about the ayi hire as our wonderful lady starts Tuesday (!), and a recounting of the Sunday Funday we are just finishing up.  Lots to share.  And with the ayi starting, I will have a bit more time to write.

Neil returned home on Thursday night very late.  It was so great to see him and hear about his travels first hand.  He took some amazing photos, and I will be sure to ask to share some here.

That Thursday had been a successful day in itself since Harper and I had a fab play date with some new friends.  I met another red-headed kid mama while at the Kerry playground one day, and we began to chat.  At the end of our visit, we exchanged information and planned to get the kids together again soon.  She invited another fun mama with a kiddo the same age as ours, and we set out to an indoor playground to let the kids run and play a bit.

First off, the indoor playgrounds here are serious business.  They are HUGE, and I am pretty sure Chuck E. Cheese would bow his head in shame if he saw what awesomeness they have here.  Hampster maze like levels, a mini-zipline, a ball shooting/ collecting/ air toy room, trampolines, kitchens, cars, ball pits, slides, FUN FOR ALL AGES.  I mean it, the parents can follow the kids right on up.  Here is a video I took while resting on the edge of the ball pit.  My mom-friend was following Harper (seen in the distance mid-video) as she climbed up into the hamster maze.

Only problems: Very busy.  Lots and LOTS of kids and parents everywhere.  And then the air conditioning.  We are spoiled in the Southern US- the A/C is usually out-of-control starting in April, so the instant relief you get when walking inside spoils you.  Actually, I used to take a sweater everywhere "just in case" it was too cool.  Yea, not here.  The air conditioning is not as powerful, not set to cool as far down, and not turned on until the business opens.

Translated: The play area is full of kids and grown-ups running around in a warm room.  Makes for a very sweaty pregnant lady.

Luckily, my new friends were willing to run after Harper when she decided to climb up into the second layer of the hamster-maze.  She is a daredevil climber now (thank you so much, Neil's genetic code), and the bigger the slide, the better.  Kid has very little fear.  Here she is on the slide:

And discovering the ball room:

We finished our trip with a yummy lunch and then an extra-long nap.  New friends and play dates are fast becoming one of my favorite parts of the China experience.

Doing well

Tuesday night and all is well.  Surviving the week without Daddy fairly well all around, although it breaks my heart when Harper asks for him in the afternoons.

We actually had a lovely day.  Though it was rainy, we started the morning with a Skype call with a friend back home, then had a fabulous play date with some other expat moms and kiddos followed closely by a nice, long nap.

Our trip out for some lunch resulted in an impromptu meeting with a mom from the playground who invited us to join her and her friend.  We had a nice lunch and chatted a bit.  The three of us are getting together again with the kids later this week- the pool if the weather allows, an indoor playground if it doesn't.

Harper and I have plans to head out to a museum tomorrow for some sight-seeing and playing.

Today almost felt like a regular day.  It took just shy of a month to get there, but it was a nice feeling.  Don't get me wrong, there are still moments when the "we live in CHINA" comes out of nowhere, but I feel like we are lucky to have ended up in Shanghai.

Welp, off to bed I go.  Have a great day, folks.

About this week

Not sure how much writing time I will have, but I will try to keep you all updated.  In the very list, I will start some posts so I don't lose ideas.

You see, I am flying solo this week.  Neil is out of town on business, and Harper and I are kicking it just the two of us.

Yup.  I was scared am anxious about it too.

However, I am set-up for success.  My husband is a rockstar.  He gifted me with two nights in a row of baby duty while I took a (pregnancy-approved) sleeping pill, donned earplugs, and checked out early wile he dealt with an unhappy-while-teething-molars baby.  And he stocked the kitchen, finished up the laundry, reorganized the kitchen to make dishes easier for me to reach, straightened the surfaces of piles, and on and on to help me be successful.

God, I love this man.

I also have the luxury I have mentioned before: Everywhere in Shanghai delivers.  I mean EVERYWHERE.  Grocery stores.  McDonald's. The corner store.  If I didn't want to leave the apartment, I would not have to do so.

But, of course, I will.  Stir crazy happens easily.  We have a few play dates planned and will frequent the playgrounds to let Harper run out some ya-yas.

I have already survived day one.  I am tired, but not exhausted.  I am hungry but putting down the computer in a moment to grab some food.  And so far, little miss is sleeping pretty well.   Also, the apartment is not collateral damage.

I'd call it a success.

About signs.

There are some really great signs in China.  Really great.

First of all, Shanghai spoils us.  The city is incredibly kind to foreigners, especially Anglos.  Most road signs are in both Mandarin and English.  Most areas that do business with expats also have dual-language signage.  There are times that one can easily forget that you are even in Asia.

But sometimes the signs just stop you in your tracks.  You guffaw. You make eye contact with your spouse and do that little head jerk that means "lookovertherebutdon'tLOOKlikeyou'relookingoverthere"
the first few times.  But now?

Now I take pictures.  Because those things are awesome.

So starts a regular feature we will call Shanghai Signs.  I have three pieces for you all this evening.

Found in our apartment

The light switches are very cool in modern in our apartment, and all labeled well for easy use.  Took me a couple weeks to realize that this did not, in fact, actually say "dining."  I now giggle almost every time I use it.

Found in our area grocery store- the fancy "Whole Foods" like one

The spelling of yogurt aside, the pronoun usage along with the adjective instead of the noun just makes for a great sign.  Totally communicates the point, so successful there, and totally makes me want frozen yogurt, so successful marketing.  (This commentary is also where I remind all of you that I am an English teacher by trade; therefore, grammatical explanations tend to be specific and use proper terms.  However, also note that I am writing this blog as a casual matter, and I take liberties with the general rules of grammar and usage to speak in an authentic voice and better communicate tone.  Contradiction?  You betcha.)

Also from said grocery store

I am going to have to write out for you the wording of this sign. 

Ahem.

"Meat, in its broadest definition, is animal tissue used as food. Most often it refers to skeletal muscle and associated fat, but it may also refer to non-muscle organs such as lungs, livers,"

You know what makes me hungry for steak?

Not that sign. 

On another note: Thanks for the concern about the finger.  I am doing well, the finger is healing and the throbbing has finally stopped.  I have a few posts in the hopper and should be posting on the regular yet again.  

  

Good news/ Bad news

Bad news first- I have sliced my finger.  Stupid bread knife.  I'm fine, no stitches, but that really great throbbing is in full effect.  So, typing is pretty difficult, and I'm not writing a bunch today.

Good news- I *think* I have officially hired an ayi!  She is wonderful, highly recommended, and great with kids.  I interviewed her yesterday and will be working out the details over the course of the week.  I promise that when the finger heals a bit, you will get a longer post about exactly what an ayi is, how I found this one, and what interviewing is like in different cultures.

Until then, I am off to get the dry cleaning ready, put in an order from the City Shop (grocery stores deliver for FREE!  Heaven.), and start reading my new Etiquette Guide to China.  Hopefully it stops raining so the toddles and I can get to the playground after nap time, but something tells me we might be taking a stroll through the mall.

Happy Father's Day

To two of my favorite men.

To my Dad, who taught me how a lady is supposed to be treated by being one of the kindest, loving,  and most personable people I know, thank you.

Vintage Daddy and me, circa 2003

And to my husband, who has proven to have an innate gift for fatherhood.  Watching him love and adore our daughter is a gift everyday, and I look forward to continuing our parenting journey hand-in-hand.  

Vintage Neil and Harper, about two hours after she was born

Hope your Father's Day was fabulous, dear readers.

The new baby

No, not the actual expected child.  A new doll, whose current name is, of course, baby.

Harper has had a soft baby doll since just after her first birthday; also read, when we found out we were pregnant again.  She learned to hug and kiss the baby, and Harper enjoying keeping that baby in her crib to cuddle and play with when she woke up.

She will be 21 months old when her little sister arrives, and that is awfully young to try to understand what is happening in her life.  My main strategy to help her cope involved getting her another baby doll- a bit more realistic and easy to play with- a some accessories to go with it.  After a trip to Target, I stocked our air shipment with a new doll complete with stroller, car seat, high chair, pack and play, changing table, and carrier.

We will set up most of the accessories when we set up the baby's room.  The idea is that Harper can participate in the baby care by using her doll- when we change a diaper, Harper can do it too.  When I put Quinn in the carrier, Harper can wear baby too.  I plan to try to include Harper when I can, and I am hoping the plan helps her adjust to a family of four.

Well, when the air shipment arrived, I decide to open the doll and her stroller as a special new toy.  She LOVES baby.  And the stroller?  Pretty much her favorite.  Check out my little Jackie O- complete with her favorite necklace- five minutes after the box was opened.

A few nights later, Harper and I went along while Daddy played tennis at a friend's compound.  We hit the sandbox, the playground, ate some picnic-style, and then Harper and I played on the empty court next to the one Daddy was using.  I brought out the stroller and the baby.  Between the stroller and the tennis balls, she was throughly entertained.

And another one:

I think she might actually have potential as a future Wimbledon ball girl.

Things I don't want to forget

Update from previous list:

The washer and dryer problem has multiplied.  The clothes were not drying.  Ever.  I was basically steaming them to death, and I had no idea what was wrong.  I called downstairs, they said to empty the tray.  I looked for a tray.  Nope, didn't see one.  Saw a heat conductor thingy, tried to dump it, but alas, nothing to dump out.

Then the washer stopped working.  Well, it would start a cycle, ding to say done, then the clothes would be sopping wet when I opened it.  I gave up and called for a service man to come up.

Service man speaks no English.  He assessed the situation, called downstairs for a front desk clerk, and then proceeded to speak to her rapidly in Mandarin.  She called me in, said that the service guy said I needed a lesson on the machines.  Well, duh, dude.  They then explained that the setting I chose on the washer was just a rinse cycle.  Doh.

In my defense, I chose it based only on the temperature reading and the length of time on the display.  It was all I had to go on.

He then showed me the cycles I would want to use, the buttons and what they do, and such.  He made me laugh because he clearly thought I was dense- many times he said, don't touch that, just make sure these lights are on, only use this or this.  I was incredibly thankful.  And I would get actually clean clothes instead of just incredibly well-rinsed clothes.

And I asked about the dryer while he was there.  The man reaches up, pulls on the side of the top of the machine (well above my head) and pulls out a giant tray full of water.  You see dear readers, the machine is not vented.  The steam collects in the tray, condenses, and you empty it after each cycle or two.  Or else, steamed clothes that do not dry.

I could have kissed that Chinese service man right on his mouth.

Small side note: I may have broken the microwave today.  When it just stops working in the middle of cooking your frozen lasagna for lunch?  And then won't turn back on for an hour?  That's broken, right?

Other items to remember:

• Every time Harper sees the stroller in the apartment, she says "bye-bye?" and pushes it.  She loves our trips out so much that we have taken to hiding the stroller in the guest bathroom to keep her from pitching a fit to go out when she gets bored.
• We finally opened a set of blocks we have been saving since Christmas.  My Aunt Janie gave them to Harper, and they are blocks in the classic style, but with Chinese lessons on them.  Simple words, characters, phrases.  She LOVES them.  Harper wants either Neil or I to sit with her and build tower after tower and makes the funniest shocked face when she knocks them down. 
• Harper has a "lift-the-flap" book of animals at the zoo.  The first set of flaps focus on animal sounds.  She picks up the books hissing for the snake sound every time.  Takes after her Papaw, there.  
• I just made a trip to Metro- think Sam's, Costco, BJs- and was ridiculously excited to buy a broom and dustpan with a stand-up handle.  No more pregnant lady on the floor trying sweep up around the high chair.  High class right there, people.
• Harper's pure joy when we opened the air shipment and she rediscovered her chair and her musical instruments.  We even opened a new baby and a stroller.  Of course, she LOVED it.  Strolled that baby all the way to the mall for a grocery shopping trip.  She was the talk of the town, I tell ya.

Pack it up, Pack it in...

I hate packing.  Maybe because I am all hyper-organized about it.  I must plan the trip before I can be sure that I have all the items I need.  Yes, this problem causes overpacking.  I have gotten better since H was born, and I started packing for two.  But still.  Packing is serious business.

Then there is moving-packing.  Completely different in strategy, but the same Type-A organizer problem for me.  Must have a plan before you can appropriately pack. We have done so many moves now- across the city, across the state, across the US- that we have learned quite a few lessons.

1- Do yourself a favor and clean out each room before packing begins.  Get rid of trash and donate, donate, donate anything you are not using or will not use.  

2- If it is a "maybe," donate it.  Period.  I cannot tell you how many boxes we have opened after living without for months and wondered why in the fricking frack we decided to move the rabbit trivet 2,400 miles to sit unused in yet another cabinet.  

3- Put like things together.  Makes boxes easier to put into the right rooms for unpacking, and makes labeling lots easier.

4- Label things.  I am admittedly a label fanatic (upon the gift of a fancy label maker, I once had too much to drink and labeled all items near me in our garage.  This included labels like "rake," "shovel," "dog," and "husband."  Husband was not as amused as I was).  In all seriousness, label boxes and totes with numbers and a description, make a master numbered list that includes said descriptions.  Makes everything much easier, and you can avoid having to reopen totes and boxes.  

5- Decide at what point the kitchen will be closed.  We usually go with a week, but this time chose ten days out.  We stocked drinks, light munchie items, kid food, and paper plates.  Everything else was either given away, eaten, or thrown out to allow for organizing and packing of the kitchen.  It is very difficult to prep an area you are still using three or more times per day. 

6- Divide what goes with you and what goes on the truck.  If you are simply moving across town, you need an overnight bag, maybe two days.  Across the state, maybe a weekend.  More than that, you need luggage and moving separated in a way that makes sense for however long you will be divided from the rest of your things.

Okay, now to explain the real issue with an overseas move. The categories were more numerous.  And involved what I am now calling "life math."  And I hate math.  And life math is like calculus you actually give a shit about.  

We had the following categories:

• Trash-  Well, duh.
• Donation-  Some given to specific people or just good old-fashioned Goodwill.
• Sell-  We had a small yard sale (thanks Mom and Dad for the assistance!) and did sell a few things online that were of a significant value.
• Luggage- Okay, luggage had to last for at least a month, perhaps up to 6 weeks.  And luggage was limited as to amount of bags, weight of bags, and size of bags.  YAY, airplanes.  Not to mention the week we spent living out of those bags while still in the states but without our house available to store them.  Plus all prescription meds and a good amount of toddler snacks.  And our "just in case nursing doesn't work out" formula mini-stash.  
• Air shipment- The company  paid for a shipment of 500lbs and a set cubic size to be shipped to us faster than our other materials.  This shipment had limits as to what could be in it as well- no prescriptions, no food (oops), no alcohol, no religious materials, etc.  
• Sea Shipment- The rest of what we wanted to move would be put on a slow boat to China.  Literally.  This stuff is expected to arrive win 8-10 weeks.  Everything we could live without for a time but would eventually need: large furniture pieces, stockpile of OTC meds, toiletries, and so on.  
• Storage- That which we are not moving, but want to keep for our return to the States.  Most expat housing is furnished, so we did not bring 90% of our furnishings.  Just Harper's room furniture, a couple small file cabinets, a desk chair, and a PBK Anywhere chair for H.  Also stored are our wealth of small electronics which are not valuable enough to purchase expensive transformers to use.  We did chose to move my sewing machines (sewing/ embroidery machine and serger) and our TV receiver/ Xbox system along with a large iMac monitor and docking station.  Those are worth a couple of transformers.  My KitchenAid mixer, unfortch, is not. 

Now, dear readers, can you imagine the massive undertaking this sorting and donating and throwing and selling and separating was?  Probably can.  Now imagine doing it in the middle of second trimester with a traveling husband (who did a ton of work when he was home) and an active toddler.  Luckily, I had a ton of rotating visitors to help and an excellent babysitter my daughter adores.  

Also, Neil was in town for two full weeks before the big moving day.  I had already done most of the selling, donating, and trashing (or had at least labeled materials as such for quick movement when he got home to do the lifting).  We worked and planned and figured out what went where.  We arranged for Harper to go down to Auburn and spend some time with her Nana and Pop about five days before we were set for movers to actually arrive.  Those days we went room by room, separating into piles and labeling everything we could pretty much from breakfast time to dinner.  It was tiring as hell.  

We scoured the airline rules for luggage.  Luckily for all involved, we had a seat for Harper paid for by the company.  Yes, business class.  Swanky, huh? 

Anyway, that allowed us two bags a person checked and two bags a person as carry-ons.  Plus, Neil's super diamond platinum bling-bling status got him an extra checked bag up to 50 lbs.  The other checked bags could be up to 70 lbs.  

Here is where life math kicked my ass.

So, I need to pack enough diapers in luggage to get me through to the air shipment arrives, then enough in air shipment until the sea shipment arrives.  Food can go in luggage and sea, but may not make it through customs for the air shipment. Toys.  We need toys on the plane, in checked luggage for the first amount of time in temporary housing, and then decide how much is needed in the air shipment versus sea shipment.  The air shipment needs to include a stash of materials for a newborn in case (heaven forbid) the baby comes early or the sea shipment is terribly delayed.  All prescriptions go into luggage, all liquids must be in the checked bags, not carry-on.  All valuables, paperwork and files, my jewelry, anything we did not trust to go into a shipment or checked luggage is in our carry-ons. Plus clothes and other supplies for a business man, his pregnant wife, and a growing toddler for 4-6 weeks worth of life in a foreign country and climate.  

Does your head hurt yet?  Mine did.  Life math sucks. 

But, we worked it out.  Originally, we bought totes to act as three of our checked bags.  The weight and the inability to secure the lids in a way we were comfy with caused us to go buy simple, heavy duty duffel bags at The North Face.  They worked GREAT.  We stuffed and sorted and weighed (bought a luggage scale.  Those things ROCK) until the packing made sense. 

Our giant pile of luggage before we loaded it all for the trip to the airport. 

Actual packing day was a breeze, expect the long hours.  Originally, we were going pack in two days, but they decided to do one long one.  Extra time sounded awesome to us, so we agreed quickly.  They movers were fast and professional.  Our extensive sorting and labeling meant that we did not have to do much at all.  We sat around, answered questions.  We had stocked the fridge with bottled water for the guys, and we ran out to buy them lunch.  Since we were staying in a hotel, our luggage was already out of the way.  It was well worth the work we had put in to the planning.  

Our house was full of boxes and well-wrapped furniture.  It was that day that everything became real for me.

So, that's the packing story.  Still working on a actual flight story recap and a few other back story posts.  

It's about time to turn in here, and I am glad to be finally hitting post on this one.  'Night folks!

A Harper double feature

Quick post without a ton of content, but I thought I would show-off the toddles while she (sort of) naps.  She is currently fighting it.  The child normally loves any and all forms of sleep, so this is unusual.  Molars are hell, people.

Anyway, I talked in a pervious post about Harper's love of the word YEESH.  I thought I would catch it on video for all her adoring fans out there.

And then from today's failed nap.  I discovered via monitor that Harper was not sleeping, but she was instead playing in her pack n play.  Very odd for her since she has only a few small books, a seahorse (for you old skool people, it is the current incarnation on the glowworm), a few pacis, and a teething toy.

When I went in, I discovered she had customized the pack n play to suit her specifics needs and was very proud of herself.

But I was a mean mommy.  I removed the treasures, velcroed down the base, replaced the sheet, and put her back down for the nap.  Very unpopular move.  Well, I did take a few pictures and a video first.  Naturally.

There you go, dear friends.  I am now going to tip-toe away, as I think we have finally achieved sleep...

Weekends

Before I begin chatting away in earnest, I just wanted to take a moment to say that I am writing with a heavy heart this morning.  Loss is a part of life, but when we lose someone so young for a completely senseless reason, it hurts all the more.  As a teacher with almost a decade under my belt, I have lost too many young people already.  Today, the Auburn community is reeling from the loss of of three of its own, while two more are still battling to make it in the hospital.  One of those students was an eighth grader I taught years ago at Loachapoka High School, and I am saddened to hear of his loss.   When I think of the grief of his friends and family, I hug Harper a little tighter.

Le sigh.  This situation has given me a glimpse of what hardship it must be to experience grief as an expat- far away from those you would love to hug and comfort and hear kind words from.

So, my plan was to tell you today a bit about how we have spent our weekends while here in Shanghai.  Tomorrow will mark two weeks in country, and we are developing a bit of a pattern already.

Harper loves weekends because she gets to sleep in a bit, and enjoy full days with both Mommy and Daddy to order around.  Fun tidbit: Most parents dread their children learning the word "no," but Harper has latched onto "yes" as her go-to bossypants command.  Too many times she has said, "More?" and heard me ask, "You want some more crackers?" She then replies "YESSh" and subsequently gets more crackers.  Harper has taken out the middle man now.  We hear, "More? YESSH.  Yessh.  MORE? YESSH.  YESSH."  Constantly.  Sub in any other word for more.  Bath? YESSH.  Gab-Gab YESSH. It might get annoying if it wasn't so damn cute.  My Southern upbringing pushes me to turn her bossiness into politeness- We are now working on, "More.  Yessh pweeeese."  See?  Fixes everything.

Okay, back to the weekends.  We eat breakfast at a downstairs restaurant buffet on the weekdays as a family every morning.  Very nice perk to our staying in a hotel residence for a month.  I reference Dylan McKay a la BH, 90210 on many occasions.

However, on the weekends, we are on our own for breakfast.  Last weekend, we ordered in and enjoyed the posh spread from the "American breakfast"on the room service menu.  We were better prepared this weekend, and we were able to cook eggs and toast and jam and RICE CRISPIES.  I might have been a *little* excited about the cereal...

After we eat, we generally clean up.  Either Neil or I will take a bath with Harper while the other cleans up the kitchen and dining area.  The bath tub is a pregnant lady/ toddler mom/ bath enthusiasts dream.  Deep tub, handles for assistances, fast filling and draining, non-slip tile floor on the outside since the shower is enclosed with the tub.  Our water baby generally loves it as well, and bath time shared with Mommy or Daddy is extra special.

Neil has been working with a fancy Hong Kong trained tailor since his last visit to China on a couple suits, shirts, and a sport coat.  The work is BEAUTIFUL and costs a bit less than a suit off the rack at home.  His work wardrobe was in dire need of an update, so we decided to outfit him here.  Each Saturday morning so far, we have gone in for a fitting with the tailors.  Yesterday, we picked up his first suit, grey glen plaid with a lovely purple lining, four dress shirts, and a tie.  The men and women there are amazing at both customer service and making beautiful clothes.

Neil at his first fitting with the fab tailors

Then we shop.  Last weekend, we took a stroll to Metro- a large. big box style store.  Think Costco or BJs. Larger amounts, good prices.  Buy a patio set and some chicken all at the same place.  This weekend, we discovered City Shop.  This is smaller than the US version of Publix or Kroger, but much the same in what it carries.

People, I was in heaven there.  Neil laughed at how excited I was to find grape jelly (now where else had grape, just every other flavor), JIF smooth PB, applesauce squeezes and mandarin oranges for the toddles.  It was a great haul.

We always venture out to find fun activities for Harper on the weekends too.  Both weekends we went to the pool, which she loves.  Daddy takes charge since he moves a bit faster than I do right now, and Harper loves to jump in from the side, blow bubbles, float (well, she's working on being comfy on her back right now), and kick, kick, kick while we pull her along.  Oh, and splash.  And watch the fountains and big kids play.  And this momma LOVES the excuse to submerge the big belly in the water and have the weight lifted from my back for a bit.  Win-win.

The kiddie pool, completely with water-dumping fountain

Harper loves the outdoor playground right outside the pool area.  She plays on the swings and mats and riding toys, but what she really loves is the rocks.  With gardenias and rosemary planted right by the play area, it is just like being back at home.

Harper making a pile of rocks earlier this week

Last weekend we wandered together through the Kerry mall, which is right by our apartment.  We ventured further out this weekend to the IFC mall- much, much bigger and grander by far.  We ate at a steak house.  It felt so posh.  And yummy.  Harper entertained the entire waitstaff, as usual.  She ate almost half of my lobster bisque too.  That kid LOVES a creamy seafood soup.

So, weekends here are busy.  We get many things done, and use the time to plan our week ahead and discover new places.  More than anything else, we enjoy the time together.  This morning, Harper spent a good thirty minutes looking for Neil after he left for work.  She just adores him.

Okay, folks.  I am going to shut down the computer for a bit and rest before the toddles gets up.  I have a errand to run for me residency paperwork this afternoon, and I need to get some downtime in before that happens.

Week One, Updated

Hi all.

Things are going well, and I thought I would take a break from writing some recaps to give you the details of our first week in Shanghai.

Neil is doing incredibly well.  He picked up the same cold on the airplane that Harper got, but luckily he was able to shake it within a few days.  Work is going well, and he has been able to get home for dinner most nights.  We are enjoying the time together in the early mornings immensely and have had family breakfasts most everyday.

I am doing pretty well myself.  I managed to avoid the airplane cold and only had to contend with jet lag and confused toddler.  Some of you know that this pregnancy has left me pretty sick throughout the entire thing, and I am happy to report that my medicine has managed to help me stay on track and feeling as well as I did stateside.  I have an appointment next week with my new OB, and I am hoping that we will get some idea of when the delivery will be scheduled within the next few appointments.

My transition has been great so far- everyone in our apartment complex is friendly and outgoing.  There are lots of kids and moms at the playgrounds and restaurants to talk to and visit with.  Harper is outgoing and social and makes getting to know new friends easy for both of us.  Neil used to joke when we first met that I could form life-long friendships in the line at the grocery store check-out.  While he is relying on hyperbole there, I am finding that my extroverted personality is coming in handy throughout the week.

And Harper is adjusting so well.  Sure, she is a toddler.  We have challenges.  Like, a lack of baby-proofed cabinets in the kitchen and meltdowns over the iPad going back into the drawer when her episode of "Gab-Gab" is over.  But mostly she is her sweet, funny self.

We have explored the apartment fully, and her favorite feature by far is the windows and wide windowsills.  She loves to sit on them and plays lots of games with the curtains.  The video is on the longer side, but it will give you an idea of how independent playtime in the apartment goes right now.

Harper and I take small excursions out of the apartment daily- usually an morning excursion and an afternoon one as well.  There are lots of things to do in our immediate area- the outdoor playground, the kid's pool, the Adventure Zone indoor playground, walking the mall, walking the courtyard, eating at one of the many, many restaurants, or getting chores done like grocery shopping.  As always, she loves the opportunity to meet people and see other kids.  Here is a video of Harper playing with some Chinese kids in the courtyard this morning- I took the video as an afterthought at the end of the visiting session, but she played and visited with these kids and their families for a good ten or fifteen minutes.

We have been working on coordinating our shipments and establishing residency visas for Harper and me.  Tons of paperwork and red tape, but luckily we have great guides with the relocation through Neil's company.

One thing that has surprised me is the sheer amount of passport-sized photos required for this move.  Silly, but it is a LOT.  No exaggerating, I think I have now had almost 30 copies made for different passports, visas, applications, and the like.  Even our gym memberships asked for photos.

Another observation before I wrap this post up- there is not voicemail service in Shanghai.  None.  The Chinese do not use it.  Though I was loathe to check my voicemail in the States, call screening does not really work unless there is voicemail to rely upon on the other end.  So, you just answer every call.  Had not been an issue until today when a lady called me four or five times before she realized that I did not speak Mandarin.

Okay folks, that's a quick update in the books.  And I'll have a few recap posts ready to go in the next few days. More to come soon.

Things I don't want to forget

From time to time, I am going to just bullet list some items that are not a post in themselves, but small points to keep a record of going forward.

- Harper is so friendly with everyone.  She loves to run up to the front desk and greet the ladies there every single time we pass through the lobby.  We pass through the lobby multiple times per day.  Never gets old.

- Our first true Chinese phrase we learned (besides ni hao and shin shin)? Hong toufa.  What does mean?  Red hair.  We hear that a lot.

- Harper's version of ni hao sounds an awful lot like "now" but said like a meowing cat.  We think she is a bit confused.

- Our first home cooked meal in China was spaghetti.  Pretty good once we figured out the range.

- The washer and dryer are completely in Chinese.  If not for the temperature and time that light up on the screen with each turn of the dial, I would be completely lost.

- When we went to sign up for our gym memberships, Harper was entertained by running circles around the gym desk.  That was fine until she found the giant exercise ball.  Then she entertained the entire gym with her pure joy of playing with the giant blue ball.

That's all for right now.  More to come soon.

{re}location, {re}location, {re}location

Okay, like I hinted at in my last post, I have many stories to go back and tell to catch up to the present day.  Since the easiest place to start is the beginning, that is where I'll go today.

Back in the fall of 2011, I was sitting on an audition panel for the winter play at the school where I once taught high school literature.  I freelanced as a producer for the preforming arts magnet after I decided to stay at home, and I really enjoyed still maintaining the relationship with the students and the theater program that I love.

I received a text from my husband during a break.  Text reads: How do you feel about Shanghai?

See, this is where you need a little backstory.  Neil and I had been discussing the possibility of moving overseas for years.  We knew that we were both open to the idea of moving for the right job, and my position as a teacher made it easy to hop from place to place while staying employed.

After our many domestic moves (like, 6?  maybe 7? since we were married in 2003), we knew that we needed a large town to be happy.  I told him that I was not interested in a country where women had to wear head scarves or were not afforded the same rights as men.  Other than those prerequisites, we decided to consider each opportunity as it occurred and make our choices based on what was right at that time.

I figured Europe.  Maybe South America.  I really never thought about Asia or China.  Then, that text.

My reply: I don't have a strong feeling one way or another.  Don't know much about it.

It came out during our conversation that Neil had been approached to see if he was interested in applying for a position for his company's Asia Pacific business unit, and that the position would involve travel but be centered in Shanghai.

My colleague for the auditions was very excited when I told him about the opportunity.  China had been on his bucket list for years, and he encouraged me to approach the idea with an open mind.

Lots of research ensued.  If I am honest, I waited to see how far the interviews would go before I got too in depth with my concerns.  But, they progressed quickly, and I had to catch up on my searches.  I saw a few things that had me concerned, but nothing completely turned me off the possibility.  My answer to Neil was that I would have to see it before I agreed to move there.

A few days later, we were invited to travel to Shanghai for a look-see visit and some final interviews.  Gulp.

Oh, and that is right about the time we found out we were pregnant again.  Harper had just turned one, and we were thrilled to be expecting again.  But expecting a baby AND moving to China?  Double Gulp.

We agreed to the look-see and scheduled it for early December.  I struggled with leaving Harper for a week, but there was no way to take her along for that short of a visit.  And I HAD to see the place before I would agree.  Good old Catch-22.

Neil and I got our first taste of the crazy long-distance flight and exactly what jet lag can do to a person (especially a person in her first trimester).  Shanghai impressed us.  The hotel at the Kerry was (and is) amazing.  Our dining experiences were all high-caliber.  We enjoyed the other expats we met.  And our concerns (water, air, hospitals and medical care, schools, etc) were all addressed, and the answers were pretty damn good.  We saw some housing that made us hopeful that we could find a place to live that we liked, even though we didn't find our place on that trip.

We liked it.

It was after that trip that I realized that Neil and I had switched from skeptical about the possibility to honestly hoping that he would get the job.  We found ourselves explaining to family and friends how different the experience of China is from the media portrayal of China.  (Example: Christmas carols were EVERYWHERE during our trip.  As were decorations and other holiday cheer.  Not exactly what we expected, but very cool).

Neil and I decided in the next few weeks that when/if the offer came in, we would make a choice based on the package offered.  Living well in China does unfortunately cost a good deal of money, and we would need to be sure that our housing allowance, insurance coverage, and other specifics in the offer allowed us the freedom to be comfortable in our new situation- and we found that you definitely pay extra for comfort.

I also added that I had two requirements: 1) I needed a second trip to China to square away giving birth and housing.  I agreed that if everything looked good at our anatomy ultrasound at 20 weeks, I would rather move together and have the baby in China over remaining in the States without Neil for months and flying with a newborn and a toddler. To do that comfortably, I needed to meet with doctors and see hospitals before I agreed to move to China before the birth. As much as I hated to be away from Harper again, it had to happen.

And 2) I said that we needed to move together.  In the past, I had done some moves alone while Neil went ahead to a job in a different city (not the lifting, of course).  HUGE undertaking.  Not fun.  And with the added complications of pregnancy, a toddler to wrangle, and an overseas move, I was not interested in going it alone.  Neil understood and agreed with both of my stipulations.

We finally got an offer.  The details were even better than we expected.  The trip was agreed to.  Neil was able to confirm that he could travel during his transition and then be home a couple weeks before the move so I would have his support.

Then we said yes.

So folks, that is how it happened.  The entire journey from text to signed dotted line took about 4 months and lots of conversations and what if scenarios.  I'll go into more detail in some other posts about the packing process and research we did.

Now, I am going off to rest. Harper is happily napping away right now, and we are planning a family pool trip this afternoon.  Both she and Neil are finally feeling some relief from their colds, and we are slowly normalizing our time.  I promise to work in a few pictures in the next post for your viewing pleasure.

And so, it begins.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Yes, I just quoted Semisonic.  You shall have to get used to those kinds of references, dear reader.

Here it is.  The blog.  Finally.  

I arrived in Shanghai, China on Tuesday with my husband, Neil, and our toddler, Harper, to start our journey abroad.  We will be here for approximately three years, and we are expecting the newest member of our family, another daughter, in early August.

Yes, yes.  I moved to China with a toddler while 7 months pregnant.  

I'll just let that sink in a minute. 

There are many stories I need to go back and tell.  Making the choice to relocate. The insanity that is preparing for an overseas move.  The shopping and research.  Packing.  The actual flight.  And now, adjusting an 18-month-old to an 12 hour time difference.  We will get there.  

I have been putting off starting this blog for months, and, of course, I now regret that choice.  Luckily, I have been making notes and sending assorted emails so I should be able to document the journey thus far in a few recaps to catch you all up pretty quickly. 

But for now, this.  The first post.  Getting it started by simply stating my intent: I want to have a record of this experience, and I intend to use this blog to share with friends, family, and interweb strangers a smattering of our adventures.  

I will not give up the experience of these events for the sake of documentation, so sometimes posts will be delayed.  Honestly, some of the best posts are reflective in nature, and I am not just saying that to fit my procrastantory tendencies.  Swearsies.

I will not try to classify this blog to fit into a directory; I am a mother, thus "mommy blogging" will surely happen.  We intent to travel and explore and experience; therefore, travel information and observations will no doubt be shared. And I am sure this blog will serve as an outlet for my creative expression, and I anticipate a few posts about my emotional state of being and mental health. 

In other words, it will be whatever it needs to be, and I hope you enjoy the ride, dear reader.  I know that we plan on it.  

Soon, I'll get the specific content started, but right now? I'm taking a nap.