Remembering the end of pregnancy

Kind of like a "Things I Don't Want to Forget" entry at this point, but better late than never.

We moved to the new apartment when I was 37 weeks pregnant.  And Shanghai was hot, hot, hot.  And I was tired.  And Harper was excited.

I entertained her (perhaps too often) with episodes of "Yo Gabba Gabba" and cuddles.

Our normal TV watching pose

Harper would climb into my lap and make herself comfortable by leaning on the bump.  Sometimes, she would even bring a snack.  The cuddling became routine, and I enjoyed time with my toddles each day.  Neil added a few movies to our routine- the biggest hits were "Aladdin" and "Monster's Inc."  

Another day, another cuddle.  Excuse the swollen... well, everything.

I thanked God every single day for Ayi Wu.  She adores Harper, and Harper loves playing with Ayi.  Their relationship allowed me to rest and have some time to adjust to Shanghai on my own terms before  baby Quinn arrived.  

I don't actually know where to start

So, I'll opt for where I left off.  The move.

We moved out of the hotel residence apartment to our current (permanent) apartment home on the 27th of July, which also happened to be Neil's birthday.

I was 27 weeks pregnant.  My husband was traveling more than he was home.  It was incredibly hot.  These are the things that I remember vividly.

However, I also recall how wonderful it was to receive delivery of our main shipment from the States.  All our stuff was finally here!  And in our new home!  Granted, it was not organized nor was our home set-up for everyday life- much less set-up to welcome a brand new baby in two weeks- but it was at least here!

I sat and checked off each box as it arrived.

The moving company was awesome and put all of the boxes in the rooms I requested and then unpacked and assembled anything I asked,  Neil arrived home a few hours after the delivery began, and we spent the day with just the shipment.  

On the 28th, a few friends and our driver helped us move our suitcases and a few boxes of items we acquired since moving here from the hotel to the apartment.  From that point on, we were in our home.

The to-do list was (and still is) a mile long.  And it had to be prioritized based on the baby arriving in a matter of weeks and having a place of our long-term guests, Neil's mom and dad, to comfortably stay for three weeks.  One problem.

Neil went back out of town the following Monday

Luckily, I already have amazing friends here in Shanghai, and two of them came over and helped me sort and organize both the guest bedroom and the kid's rooms.  It was amazing.  I was so pleased, but Neil was truly ecstatic when he returned home to find that the majority of his weekend had been cleared to work on other projects.

Things have changed so much since then; we are fairly settled and getting more organized every day.  The place is really starting to feel like ours.  But, I am still driven crazy by the lack of art on the walls (which are made of concrete and plaster.  One does not just hammer in a nail and solve the problem) and the unfinished nature of Quinn's nursery.  But, we have time.  And that is a good thing.

And, on a final note, here is the beginning of the long excuse as to my hiatus.  When we stayed at the hotel, the wifi signal was routed in a way that allowed access to sites usually blocked in China- Facebook, Blogger (and any blog, for that matter), Twitter, and other social networks.  We moved and POOF!  Access denied.  We knew the answer to fix the issue.  But, Neil was traveling and needed to be home to fix it.  When he got home, turns out we needed a new router too.  That piece arrived from the US along with his parents.  The day after his parents arrived... I had a baby.

And family has dominated that last four weeks as we settled into a new rhythm and pace and routine.  And I let the blog continue to what while I slept when I could, cuddled when I could, and cared for myself as best I could.

More posts to come, but know that we are are settled in and everyone is doing really well here.  I miss my family and my friends so much.

I leave you all with a few pictures of the beautiful garden walkways and fountains in our apartment complex.  The girls and I take walks through them each evening before dinner, as do many other families with small children. That time together is fast becoming one of my favorite parts of the day.

Triumphant return

Hi.

Many reasons.  We moved (!!!) and lost access to Blogger for weeks.

The week we got it back, I had a baby.

That baby likes to eat.  And I like to sleep.

Hence why there have been no updates lately.  However, I started writing again yesterday, and I will try to write a little each day to catch you all up.  I have a bunch to share.

The blog make-over should be installed soon, too.  Not only will I have content on the blog, but it should be a pretty blog soon as well!

Okay, back to the toddles and the squishy baby.  See you all very soon!

Teaser picture: Harper sharing her kisses with little sister, Quinn.

Doing well

Tuesday night and all is well.  Surviving the week without Daddy fairly well all around, although it breaks my heart when Harper asks for him in the afternoons.

We actually had a lovely day.  Though it was rainy, we started the morning with a Skype call with a friend back home, then had a fabulous play date with some other expat moms and kiddos followed closely by a nice, long nap.

Our trip out for some lunch resulted in an impromptu meeting with a mom from the playground who invited us to join her and her friend.  We had a nice lunch and chatted a bit.  The three of us are getting together again with the kids later this week- the pool if the weather allows, an indoor playground if it doesn't.

Harper and I have plans to head out to a museum tomorrow for some sight-seeing and playing.

Today almost felt like a regular day.  It took just shy of a month to get there, but it was a nice feeling.  Don't get me wrong, there are still moments when the "we live in CHINA" comes out of nowhere, but I feel like we are lucky to have ended up in Shanghai.

Welp, off to bed I go.  Have a great day, folks.

Good news/ Bad news

Bad news first- I have sliced my finger.  Stupid bread knife.  I'm fine, no stitches, but that really great throbbing is in full effect.  So, typing is pretty difficult, and I'm not writing a bunch today.

Good news- I *think* I have officially hired an ayi!  She is wonderful, highly recommended, and great with kids.  I interviewed her yesterday and will be working out the details over the course of the week.  I promise that when the finger heals a bit, you will get a longer post about exactly what an ayi is, how I found this one, and what interviewing is like in different cultures.

Until then, I am off to get the dry cleaning ready, put in an order from the City Shop (grocery stores deliver for FREE!  Heaven.), and start reading my new Etiquette Guide to China.  Hopefully it stops raining so the toddles and I can get to the playground after nap time, but something tells me we might be taking a stroll through the mall.

Pack it up, Pack it in...

I hate packing.  Maybe because I am all hyper-organized about it.  I must plan the trip before I can be sure that I have all the items I need.  Yes, this problem causes overpacking.  I have gotten better since H was born, and I started packing for two.  But still.  Packing is serious business.

Then there is moving-packing.  Completely different in strategy, but the same Type-A organizer problem for me.  Must have a plan before you can appropriately pack. We have done so many moves now- across the city, across the state, across the US- that we have learned quite a few lessons.

1- Do yourself a favor and clean out each room before packing begins.  Get rid of trash and donate, donate, donate anything you are not using or will not use.  

2- If it is a "maybe," donate it.  Period.  I cannot tell you how many boxes we have opened after living without for months and wondered why in the fricking frack we decided to move the rabbit trivet 2,400 miles to sit unused in yet another cabinet.  

3- Put like things together.  Makes boxes easier to put into the right rooms for unpacking, and makes labeling lots easier.

4- Label things.  I am admittedly a label fanatic (upon the gift of a fancy label maker, I once had too much to drink and labeled all items near me in our garage.  This included labels like "rake," "shovel," "dog," and "husband."  Husband was not as amused as I was).  In all seriousness, label boxes and totes with numbers and a description, make a master numbered list that includes said descriptions.  Makes everything much easier, and you can avoid having to reopen totes and boxes.  

5- Decide at what point the kitchen will be closed.  We usually go with a week, but this time chose ten days out.  We stocked drinks, light munchie items, kid food, and paper plates.  Everything else was either given away, eaten, or thrown out to allow for organizing and packing of the kitchen.  It is very difficult to prep an area you are still using three or more times per day. 

6- Divide what goes with you and what goes on the truck.  If you are simply moving across town, you need an overnight bag, maybe two days.  Across the state, maybe a weekend.  More than that, you need luggage and moving separated in a way that makes sense for however long you will be divided from the rest of your things.

Okay, now to explain the real issue with an overseas move. The categories were more numerous.  And involved what I am now calling "life math."  And I hate math.  And life math is like calculus you actually give a shit about.  

We had the following categories:

• Trash-  Well, duh.
• Donation-  Some given to specific people or just good old-fashioned Goodwill.
• Sell-  We had a small yard sale (thanks Mom and Dad for the assistance!) and did sell a few things online that were of a significant value.
• Luggage- Okay, luggage had to last for at least a month, perhaps up to 6 weeks.  And luggage was limited as to amount of bags, weight of bags, and size of bags.  YAY, airplanes.  Not to mention the week we spent living out of those bags while still in the states but without our house available to store them.  Plus all prescription meds and a good amount of toddler snacks.  And our "just in case nursing doesn't work out" formula mini-stash.  
• Air shipment- The company  paid for a shipment of 500lbs and a set cubic size to be shipped to us faster than our other materials.  This shipment had limits as to what could be in it as well- no prescriptions, no food (oops), no alcohol, no religious materials, etc.  
• Sea Shipment- The rest of what we wanted to move would be put on a slow boat to China.  Literally.  This stuff is expected to arrive win 8-10 weeks.  Everything we could live without for a time but would eventually need: large furniture pieces, stockpile of OTC meds, toiletries, and so on.  
• Storage- That which we are not moving, but want to keep for our return to the States.  Most expat housing is furnished, so we did not bring 90% of our furnishings.  Just Harper's room furniture, a couple small file cabinets, a desk chair, and a PBK Anywhere chair for H.  Also stored are our wealth of small electronics which are not valuable enough to purchase expensive transformers to use.  We did chose to move my sewing machines (sewing/ embroidery machine and serger) and our TV receiver/ Xbox system along with a large iMac monitor and docking station.  Those are worth a couple of transformers.  My KitchenAid mixer, unfortch, is not. 

Now, dear readers, can you imagine the massive undertaking this sorting and donating and throwing and selling and separating was?  Probably can.  Now imagine doing it in the middle of second trimester with a traveling husband (who did a ton of work when he was home) and an active toddler.  Luckily, I had a ton of rotating visitors to help and an excellent babysitter my daughter adores.  

Also, Neil was in town for two full weeks before the big moving day.  I had already done most of the selling, donating, and trashing (or had at least labeled materials as such for quick movement when he got home to do the lifting).  We worked and planned and figured out what went where.  We arranged for Harper to go down to Auburn and spend some time with her Nana and Pop about five days before we were set for movers to actually arrive.  Those days we went room by room, separating into piles and labeling everything we could pretty much from breakfast time to dinner.  It was tiring as hell.  

We scoured the airline rules for luggage.  Luckily for all involved, we had a seat for Harper paid for by the company.  Yes, business class.  Swanky, huh? 

Anyway, that allowed us two bags a person checked and two bags a person as carry-ons.  Plus, Neil's super diamond platinum bling-bling status got him an extra checked bag up to 50 lbs.  The other checked bags could be up to 70 lbs.  

Here is where life math kicked my ass.

So, I need to pack enough diapers in luggage to get me through to the air shipment arrives, then enough in air shipment until the sea shipment arrives.  Food can go in luggage and sea, but may not make it through customs for the air shipment. Toys.  We need toys on the plane, in checked luggage for the first amount of time in temporary housing, and then decide how much is needed in the air shipment versus sea shipment.  The air shipment needs to include a stash of materials for a newborn in case (heaven forbid) the baby comes early or the sea shipment is terribly delayed.  All prescriptions go into luggage, all liquids must be in the checked bags, not carry-on.  All valuables, paperwork and files, my jewelry, anything we did not trust to go into a shipment or checked luggage is in our carry-ons. Plus clothes and other supplies for a business man, his pregnant wife, and a growing toddler for 4-6 weeks worth of life in a foreign country and climate.  

Does your head hurt yet?  Mine did.  Life math sucks. 

But, we worked it out.  Originally, we bought totes to act as three of our checked bags.  The weight and the inability to secure the lids in a way we were comfy with caused us to go buy simple, heavy duty duffel bags at The North Face.  They worked GREAT.  We stuffed and sorted and weighed (bought a luggage scale.  Those things ROCK) until the packing made sense. 

Our giant pile of luggage before we loaded it all for the trip to the airport. 

Actual packing day was a breeze, expect the long hours.  Originally, we were going pack in two days, but they decided to do one long one.  Extra time sounded awesome to us, so we agreed quickly.  They movers were fast and professional.  Our extensive sorting and labeling meant that we did not have to do much at all.  We sat around, answered questions.  We had stocked the fridge with bottled water for the guys, and we ran out to buy them lunch.  Since we were staying in a hotel, our luggage was already out of the way.  It was well worth the work we had put in to the planning.  

Our house was full of boxes and well-wrapped furniture.  It was that day that everything became real for me.

So, that's the packing story.  Still working on a actual flight story recap and a few other back story posts.  

It's about time to turn in here, and I am glad to be finally hitting post on this one.  'Night folks!

Weekends

Before I begin chatting away in earnest, I just wanted to take a moment to say that I am writing with a heavy heart this morning.  Loss is a part of life, but when we lose someone so young for a completely senseless reason, it hurts all the more.  As a teacher with almost a decade under my belt, I have lost too many young people already.  Today, the Auburn community is reeling from the loss of of three of its own, while two more are still battling to make it in the hospital.  One of those students was an eighth grader I taught years ago at Loachapoka High School, and I am saddened to hear of his loss.   When I think of the grief of his friends and family, I hug Harper a little tighter.

Le sigh.  This situation has given me a glimpse of what hardship it must be to experience grief as an expat- far away from those you would love to hug and comfort and hear kind words from.

So, my plan was to tell you today a bit about how we have spent our weekends while here in Shanghai.  Tomorrow will mark two weeks in country, and we are developing a bit of a pattern already.

Harper loves weekends because she gets to sleep in a bit, and enjoy full days with both Mommy and Daddy to order around.  Fun tidbit: Most parents dread their children learning the word "no," but Harper has latched onto "yes" as her go-to bossypants command.  Too many times she has said, "More?" and heard me ask, "You want some more crackers?" She then replies "YESSh" and subsequently gets more crackers.  Harper has taken out the middle man now.  We hear, "More? YESSH.  Yessh.  MORE? YESSH.  YESSH."  Constantly.  Sub in any other word for more.  Bath? YESSH.  Gab-Gab YESSH. It might get annoying if it wasn't so damn cute.  My Southern upbringing pushes me to turn her bossiness into politeness- We are now working on, "More.  Yessh pweeeese."  See?  Fixes everything.

Okay, back to the weekends.  We eat breakfast at a downstairs restaurant buffet on the weekdays as a family every morning.  Very nice perk to our staying in a hotel residence for a month.  I reference Dylan McKay a la BH, 90210 on many occasions.

However, on the weekends, we are on our own for breakfast.  Last weekend, we ordered in and enjoyed the posh spread from the "American breakfast"on the room service menu.  We were better prepared this weekend, and we were able to cook eggs and toast and jam and RICE CRISPIES.  I might have been a *little* excited about the cereal...

After we eat, we generally clean up.  Either Neil or I will take a bath with Harper while the other cleans up the kitchen and dining area.  The bath tub is a pregnant lady/ toddler mom/ bath enthusiasts dream.  Deep tub, handles for assistances, fast filling and draining, non-slip tile floor on the outside since the shower is enclosed with the tub.  Our water baby generally loves it as well, and bath time shared with Mommy or Daddy is extra special.

Neil has been working with a fancy Hong Kong trained tailor since his last visit to China on a couple suits, shirts, and a sport coat.  The work is BEAUTIFUL and costs a bit less than a suit off the rack at home.  His work wardrobe was in dire need of an update, so we decided to outfit him here.  Each Saturday morning so far, we have gone in for a fitting with the tailors.  Yesterday, we picked up his first suit, grey glen plaid with a lovely purple lining, four dress shirts, and a tie.  The men and women there are amazing at both customer service and making beautiful clothes.

Neil at his first fitting with the fab tailors

Then we shop.  Last weekend, we took a stroll to Metro- a large. big box style store.  Think Costco or BJs. Larger amounts, good prices.  Buy a patio set and some chicken all at the same place.  This weekend, we discovered City Shop.  This is smaller than the US version of Publix or Kroger, but much the same in what it carries.

People, I was in heaven there.  Neil laughed at how excited I was to find grape jelly (now where else had grape, just every other flavor), JIF smooth PB, applesauce squeezes and mandarin oranges for the toddles.  It was a great haul.

We always venture out to find fun activities for Harper on the weekends too.  Both weekends we went to the pool, which she loves.  Daddy takes charge since he moves a bit faster than I do right now, and Harper loves to jump in from the side, blow bubbles, float (well, she's working on being comfy on her back right now), and kick, kick, kick while we pull her along.  Oh, and splash.  And watch the fountains and big kids play.  And this momma LOVES the excuse to submerge the big belly in the water and have the weight lifted from my back for a bit.  Win-win.

The kiddie pool, completely with water-dumping fountain

Harper loves the outdoor playground right outside the pool area.  She plays on the swings and mats and riding toys, but what she really loves is the rocks.  With gardenias and rosemary planted right by the play area, it is just like being back at home.

Harper making a pile of rocks earlier this week

Last weekend we wandered together through the Kerry mall, which is right by our apartment.  We ventured further out this weekend to the IFC mall- much, much bigger and grander by far.  We ate at a steak house.  It felt so posh.  And yummy.  Harper entertained the entire waitstaff, as usual.  She ate almost half of my lobster bisque too.  That kid LOVES a creamy seafood soup.

So, weekends here are busy.  We get many things done, and use the time to plan our week ahead and discover new places.  More than anything else, we enjoy the time together.  This morning, Harper spent a good thirty minutes looking for Neil after he left for work.  She just adores him.

Okay, folks.  I am going to shut down the computer for a bit and rest before the toddles gets up.  I have a errand to run for me residency paperwork this afternoon, and I need to get some downtime in before that happens.

Week One, Updated

Hi all.

Things are going well, and I thought I would take a break from writing some recaps to give you the details of our first week in Shanghai.

Neil is doing incredibly well.  He picked up the same cold on the airplane that Harper got, but luckily he was able to shake it within a few days.  Work is going well, and he has been able to get home for dinner most nights.  We are enjoying the time together in the early mornings immensely and have had family breakfasts most everyday.

I am doing pretty well myself.  I managed to avoid the airplane cold and only had to contend with jet lag and confused toddler.  Some of you know that this pregnancy has left me pretty sick throughout the entire thing, and I am happy to report that my medicine has managed to help me stay on track and feeling as well as I did stateside.  I have an appointment next week with my new OB, and I am hoping that we will get some idea of when the delivery will be scheduled within the next few appointments.

My transition has been great so far- everyone in our apartment complex is friendly and outgoing.  There are lots of kids and moms at the playgrounds and restaurants to talk to and visit with.  Harper is outgoing and social and makes getting to know new friends easy for both of us.  Neil used to joke when we first met that I could form life-long friendships in the line at the grocery store check-out.  While he is relying on hyperbole there, I am finding that my extroverted personality is coming in handy throughout the week.

And Harper is adjusting so well.  Sure, she is a toddler.  We have challenges.  Like, a lack of baby-proofed cabinets in the kitchen and meltdowns over the iPad going back into the drawer when her episode of "Gab-Gab" is over.  But mostly she is her sweet, funny self.

We have explored the apartment fully, and her favorite feature by far is the windows and wide windowsills.  She loves to sit on them and plays lots of games with the curtains.  The video is on the longer side, but it will give you an idea of how independent playtime in the apartment goes right now.

Harper and I take small excursions out of the apartment daily- usually an morning excursion and an afternoon one as well.  There are lots of things to do in our immediate area- the outdoor playground, the kid's pool, the Adventure Zone indoor playground, walking the mall, walking the courtyard, eating at one of the many, many restaurants, or getting chores done like grocery shopping.  As always, she loves the opportunity to meet people and see other kids.  Here is a video of Harper playing with some Chinese kids in the courtyard this morning- I took the video as an afterthought at the end of the visiting session, but she played and visited with these kids and their families for a good ten or fifteen minutes.

We have been working on coordinating our shipments and establishing residency visas for Harper and me.  Tons of paperwork and red tape, but luckily we have great guides with the relocation through Neil's company.

One thing that has surprised me is the sheer amount of passport-sized photos required for this move.  Silly, but it is a LOT.  No exaggerating, I think I have now had almost 30 copies made for different passports, visas, applications, and the like.  Even our gym memberships asked for photos.

Another observation before I wrap this post up- there is not voicemail service in Shanghai.  None.  The Chinese do not use it.  Though I was loathe to check my voicemail in the States, call screening does not really work unless there is voicemail to rely upon on the other end.  So, you just answer every call.  Had not been an issue until today when a lady called me four or five times before she realized that I did not speak Mandarin.

Okay folks, that's a quick update in the books.  And I'll have a few recap posts ready to go in the next few days. More to come soon.