Remembering the end of pregnancy

Kind of like a "Things I Don't Want to Forget" entry at this point, but better late than never.

We moved to the new apartment when I was 37 weeks pregnant.  And Shanghai was hot, hot, hot.  And I was tired.  And Harper was excited.

I entertained her (perhaps too often) with episodes of "Yo Gabba Gabba" and cuddles.

Our normal TV watching pose

Harper would climb into my lap and make herself comfortable by leaning on the bump.  Sometimes, she would even bring a snack.  The cuddling became routine, and I enjoyed time with my toddles each day.  Neil added a few movies to our routine- the biggest hits were "Aladdin" and "Monster's Inc."  

Another day, another cuddle.  Excuse the swollen... well, everything.

I thanked God every single day for Ayi Wu.  She adores Harper, and Harper loves playing with Ayi.  Their relationship allowed me to rest and have some time to adjust to Shanghai on my own terms before  baby Quinn arrived.  

I don't actually know where to start

So, I'll opt for where I left off.  The move.

We moved out of the hotel residence apartment to our current (permanent) apartment home on the 27th of July, which also happened to be Neil's birthday.

I was 27 weeks pregnant.  My husband was traveling more than he was home.  It was incredibly hot.  These are the things that I remember vividly.

However, I also recall how wonderful it was to receive delivery of our main shipment from the States.  All our stuff was finally here!  And in our new home!  Granted, it was not organized nor was our home set-up for everyday life- much less set-up to welcome a brand new baby in two weeks- but it was at least here!

I sat and checked off each box as it arrived.

The moving company was awesome and put all of the boxes in the rooms I requested and then unpacked and assembled anything I asked,  Neil arrived home a few hours after the delivery began, and we spent the day with just the shipment.  

On the 28th, a few friends and our driver helped us move our suitcases and a few boxes of items we acquired since moving here from the hotel to the apartment.  From that point on, we were in our home.

The to-do list was (and still is) a mile long.  And it had to be prioritized based on the baby arriving in a matter of weeks and having a place of our long-term guests, Neil's mom and dad, to comfortably stay for three weeks.  One problem.

Neil went back out of town the following Monday

Luckily, I already have amazing friends here in Shanghai, and two of them came over and helped me sort and organize both the guest bedroom and the kid's rooms.  It was amazing.  I was so pleased, but Neil was truly ecstatic when he returned home to find that the majority of his weekend had been cleared to work on other projects.

Things have changed so much since then; we are fairly settled and getting more organized every day.  The place is really starting to feel like ours.  But, I am still driven crazy by the lack of art on the walls (which are made of concrete and plaster.  One does not just hammer in a nail and solve the problem) and the unfinished nature of Quinn's nursery.  But, we have time.  And that is a good thing.

And, on a final note, here is the beginning of the long excuse as to my hiatus.  When we stayed at the hotel, the wifi signal was routed in a way that allowed access to sites usually blocked in China- Facebook, Blogger (and any blog, for that matter), Twitter, and other social networks.  We moved and POOF!  Access denied.  We knew the answer to fix the issue.  But, Neil was traveling and needed to be home to fix it.  When he got home, turns out we needed a new router too.  That piece arrived from the US along with his parents.  The day after his parents arrived... I had a baby.

And family has dominated that last four weeks as we settled into a new rhythm and pace and routine.  And I let the blog continue to what while I slept when I could, cuddled when I could, and cared for myself as best I could.

More posts to come, but know that we are are settled in and everyone is doing really well here.  I miss my family and my friends so much.

I leave you all with a few pictures of the beautiful garden walkways and fountains in our apartment complex.  The girls and I take walks through them each evening before dinner, as do many other families with small children. That time together is fast becoming one of my favorite parts of the day.

Pack it up, Pack it in...

I hate packing.  Maybe because I am all hyper-organized about it.  I must plan the trip before I can be sure that I have all the items I need.  Yes, this problem causes overpacking.  I have gotten better since H was born, and I started packing for two.  But still.  Packing is serious business.

Then there is moving-packing.  Completely different in strategy, but the same Type-A organizer problem for me.  Must have a plan before you can appropriately pack. We have done so many moves now- across the city, across the state, across the US- that we have learned quite a few lessons.

1- Do yourself a favor and clean out each room before packing begins.  Get rid of trash and donate, donate, donate anything you are not using or will not use.  

2- If it is a "maybe," donate it.  Period.  I cannot tell you how many boxes we have opened after living without for months and wondered why in the fricking frack we decided to move the rabbit trivet 2,400 miles to sit unused in yet another cabinet.  

3- Put like things together.  Makes boxes easier to put into the right rooms for unpacking, and makes labeling lots easier.

4- Label things.  I am admittedly a label fanatic (upon the gift of a fancy label maker, I once had too much to drink and labeled all items near me in our garage.  This included labels like "rake," "shovel," "dog," and "husband."  Husband was not as amused as I was).  In all seriousness, label boxes and totes with numbers and a description, make a master numbered list that includes said descriptions.  Makes everything much easier, and you can avoid having to reopen totes and boxes.  

5- Decide at what point the kitchen will be closed.  We usually go with a week, but this time chose ten days out.  We stocked drinks, light munchie items, kid food, and paper plates.  Everything else was either given away, eaten, or thrown out to allow for organizing and packing of the kitchen.  It is very difficult to prep an area you are still using three or more times per day. 

6- Divide what goes with you and what goes on the truck.  If you are simply moving across town, you need an overnight bag, maybe two days.  Across the state, maybe a weekend.  More than that, you need luggage and moving separated in a way that makes sense for however long you will be divided from the rest of your things.

Okay, now to explain the real issue with an overseas move. The categories were more numerous.  And involved what I am now calling "life math."  And I hate math.  And life math is like calculus you actually give a shit about.  

We had the following categories:

• Trash-  Well, duh.
• Donation-  Some given to specific people or just good old-fashioned Goodwill.
• Sell-  We had a small yard sale (thanks Mom and Dad for the assistance!) and did sell a few things online that were of a significant value.
• Luggage- Okay, luggage had to last for at least a month, perhaps up to 6 weeks.  And luggage was limited as to amount of bags, weight of bags, and size of bags.  YAY, airplanes.  Not to mention the week we spent living out of those bags while still in the states but without our house available to store them.  Plus all prescription meds and a good amount of toddler snacks.  And our "just in case nursing doesn't work out" formula mini-stash.  
• Air shipment- The company  paid for a shipment of 500lbs and a set cubic size to be shipped to us faster than our other materials.  This shipment had limits as to what could be in it as well- no prescriptions, no food (oops), no alcohol, no religious materials, etc.  
• Sea Shipment- The rest of what we wanted to move would be put on a slow boat to China.  Literally.  This stuff is expected to arrive win 8-10 weeks.  Everything we could live without for a time but would eventually need: large furniture pieces, stockpile of OTC meds, toiletries, and so on.  
• Storage- That which we are not moving, but want to keep for our return to the States.  Most expat housing is furnished, so we did not bring 90% of our furnishings.  Just Harper's room furniture, a couple small file cabinets, a desk chair, and a PBK Anywhere chair for H.  Also stored are our wealth of small electronics which are not valuable enough to purchase expensive transformers to use.  We did chose to move my sewing machines (sewing/ embroidery machine and serger) and our TV receiver/ Xbox system along with a large iMac monitor and docking station.  Those are worth a couple of transformers.  My KitchenAid mixer, unfortch, is not. 

Now, dear readers, can you imagine the massive undertaking this sorting and donating and throwing and selling and separating was?  Probably can.  Now imagine doing it in the middle of second trimester with a traveling husband (who did a ton of work when he was home) and an active toddler.  Luckily, I had a ton of rotating visitors to help and an excellent babysitter my daughter adores.  

Also, Neil was in town for two full weeks before the big moving day.  I had already done most of the selling, donating, and trashing (or had at least labeled materials as such for quick movement when he got home to do the lifting).  We worked and planned and figured out what went where.  We arranged for Harper to go down to Auburn and spend some time with her Nana and Pop about five days before we were set for movers to actually arrive.  Those days we went room by room, separating into piles and labeling everything we could pretty much from breakfast time to dinner.  It was tiring as hell.  

We scoured the airline rules for luggage.  Luckily for all involved, we had a seat for Harper paid for by the company.  Yes, business class.  Swanky, huh? 

Anyway, that allowed us two bags a person checked and two bags a person as carry-ons.  Plus, Neil's super diamond platinum bling-bling status got him an extra checked bag up to 50 lbs.  The other checked bags could be up to 70 lbs.  

Here is where life math kicked my ass.

So, I need to pack enough diapers in luggage to get me through to the air shipment arrives, then enough in air shipment until the sea shipment arrives.  Food can go in luggage and sea, but may not make it through customs for the air shipment. Toys.  We need toys on the plane, in checked luggage for the first amount of time in temporary housing, and then decide how much is needed in the air shipment versus sea shipment.  The air shipment needs to include a stash of materials for a newborn in case (heaven forbid) the baby comes early or the sea shipment is terribly delayed.  All prescriptions go into luggage, all liquids must be in the checked bags, not carry-on.  All valuables, paperwork and files, my jewelry, anything we did not trust to go into a shipment or checked luggage is in our carry-ons. Plus clothes and other supplies for a business man, his pregnant wife, and a growing toddler for 4-6 weeks worth of life in a foreign country and climate.  

Does your head hurt yet?  Mine did.  Life math sucks. 

But, we worked it out.  Originally, we bought totes to act as three of our checked bags.  The weight and the inability to secure the lids in a way we were comfy with caused us to go buy simple, heavy duty duffel bags at The North Face.  They worked GREAT.  We stuffed and sorted and weighed (bought a luggage scale.  Those things ROCK) until the packing made sense. 

Our giant pile of luggage before we loaded it all for the trip to the airport. 

Actual packing day was a breeze, expect the long hours.  Originally, we were going pack in two days, but they decided to do one long one.  Extra time sounded awesome to us, so we agreed quickly.  They movers were fast and professional.  Our extensive sorting and labeling meant that we did not have to do much at all.  We sat around, answered questions.  We had stocked the fridge with bottled water for the guys, and we ran out to buy them lunch.  Since we were staying in a hotel, our luggage was already out of the way.  It was well worth the work we had put in to the planning.  

Our house was full of boxes and well-wrapped furniture.  It was that day that everything became real for me.

So, that's the packing story.  Still working on a actual flight story recap and a few other back story posts.  

It's about time to turn in here, and I am glad to be finally hitting post on this one.  'Night folks!

{re}location, {re}location, {re}location

Okay, like I hinted at in my last post, I have many stories to go back and tell to catch up to the present day.  Since the easiest place to start is the beginning, that is where I'll go today.

Back in the fall of 2011, I was sitting on an audition panel for the winter play at the school where I once taught high school literature.  I freelanced as a producer for the preforming arts magnet after I decided to stay at home, and I really enjoyed still maintaining the relationship with the students and the theater program that I love.

I received a text from my husband during a break.  Text reads: How do you feel about Shanghai?

See, this is where you need a little backstory.  Neil and I had been discussing the possibility of moving overseas for years.  We knew that we were both open to the idea of moving for the right job, and my position as a teacher made it easy to hop from place to place while staying employed.

After our many domestic moves (like, 6?  maybe 7? since we were married in 2003), we knew that we needed a large town to be happy.  I told him that I was not interested in a country where women had to wear head scarves or were not afforded the same rights as men.  Other than those prerequisites, we decided to consider each opportunity as it occurred and make our choices based on what was right at that time.

I figured Europe.  Maybe South America.  I really never thought about Asia or China.  Then, that text.

My reply: I don't have a strong feeling one way or another.  Don't know much about it.

It came out during our conversation that Neil had been approached to see if he was interested in applying for a position for his company's Asia Pacific business unit, and that the position would involve travel but be centered in Shanghai.

My colleague for the auditions was very excited when I told him about the opportunity.  China had been on his bucket list for years, and he encouraged me to approach the idea with an open mind.

Lots of research ensued.  If I am honest, I waited to see how far the interviews would go before I got too in depth with my concerns.  But, they progressed quickly, and I had to catch up on my searches.  I saw a few things that had me concerned, but nothing completely turned me off the possibility.  My answer to Neil was that I would have to see it before I agreed to move there.

A few days later, we were invited to travel to Shanghai for a look-see visit and some final interviews.  Gulp.

Oh, and that is right about the time we found out we were pregnant again.  Harper had just turned one, and we were thrilled to be expecting again.  But expecting a baby AND moving to China?  Double Gulp.

We agreed to the look-see and scheduled it for early December.  I struggled with leaving Harper for a week, but there was no way to take her along for that short of a visit.  And I HAD to see the place before I would agree.  Good old Catch-22.

Neil and I got our first taste of the crazy long-distance flight and exactly what jet lag can do to a person (especially a person in her first trimester).  Shanghai impressed us.  The hotel at the Kerry was (and is) amazing.  Our dining experiences were all high-caliber.  We enjoyed the other expats we met.  And our concerns (water, air, hospitals and medical care, schools, etc) were all addressed, and the answers were pretty damn good.  We saw some housing that made us hopeful that we could find a place to live that we liked, even though we didn't find our place on that trip.

We liked it.

It was after that trip that I realized that Neil and I had switched from skeptical about the possibility to honestly hoping that he would get the job.  We found ourselves explaining to family and friends how different the experience of China is from the media portrayal of China.  (Example: Christmas carols were EVERYWHERE during our trip.  As were decorations and other holiday cheer.  Not exactly what we expected, but very cool).

Neil and I decided in the next few weeks that when/if the offer came in, we would make a choice based on the package offered.  Living well in China does unfortunately cost a good deal of money, and we would need to be sure that our housing allowance, insurance coverage, and other specifics in the offer allowed us the freedom to be comfortable in our new situation- and we found that you definitely pay extra for comfort.

I also added that I had two requirements: 1) I needed a second trip to China to square away giving birth and housing.  I agreed that if everything looked good at our anatomy ultrasound at 20 weeks, I would rather move together and have the baby in China over remaining in the States without Neil for months and flying with a newborn and a toddler. To do that comfortably, I needed to meet with doctors and see hospitals before I agreed to move to China before the birth. As much as I hated to be away from Harper again, it had to happen.

And 2) I said that we needed to move together.  In the past, I had done some moves alone while Neil went ahead to a job in a different city (not the lifting, of course).  HUGE undertaking.  Not fun.  And with the added complications of pregnancy, a toddler to wrangle, and an overseas move, I was not interested in going it alone.  Neil understood and agreed with both of my stipulations.

We finally got an offer.  The details were even better than we expected.  The trip was agreed to.  Neil was able to confirm that he could travel during his transition and then be home a couple weeks before the move so I would have his support.

Then we said yes.

So folks, that is how it happened.  The entire journey from text to signed dotted line took about 4 months and lots of conversations and what if scenarios.  I'll go into more detail in some other posts about the packing process and research we did.

Now, I am going off to rest. Harper is happily napping away right now, and we are planning a family pool trip this afternoon.  Both she and Neil are finally feeling some relief from their colds, and we are slowly normalizing our time.  I promise to work in a few pictures in the next post for your viewing pleasure.

And so, it begins.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Yes, I just quoted Semisonic.  You shall have to get used to those kinds of references, dear reader.

Here it is.  The blog.  Finally.  

I arrived in Shanghai, China on Tuesday with my husband, Neil, and our toddler, Harper, to start our journey abroad.  We will be here for approximately three years, and we are expecting the newest member of our family, another daughter, in early August.

Yes, yes.  I moved to China with a toddler while 7 months pregnant.  

I'll just let that sink in a minute. 

There are many stories I need to go back and tell.  Making the choice to relocate. The insanity that is preparing for an overseas move.  The shopping and research.  Packing.  The actual flight.  And now, adjusting an 18-month-old to an 12 hour time difference.  We will get there.  

I have been putting off starting this blog for months, and, of course, I now regret that choice.  Luckily, I have been making notes and sending assorted emails so I should be able to document the journey thus far in a few recaps to catch you all up pretty quickly. 

But for now, this.  The first post.  Getting it started by simply stating my intent: I want to have a record of this experience, and I intend to use this blog to share with friends, family, and interweb strangers a smattering of our adventures.  

I will not give up the experience of these events for the sake of documentation, so sometimes posts will be delayed.  Honestly, some of the best posts are reflective in nature, and I am not just saying that to fit my procrastantory tendencies.  Swearsies.

I will not try to classify this blog to fit into a directory; I am a mother, thus "mommy blogging" will surely happen.  We intent to travel and explore and experience; therefore, travel information and observations will no doubt be shared. And I am sure this blog will serve as an outlet for my creative expression, and I anticipate a few posts about my emotional state of being and mental health. 

In other words, it will be whatever it needs to be, and I hope you enjoy the ride, dear reader.  I know that we plan on it.  

Soon, I'll get the specific content started, but right now? I'm taking a nap.