{re}location, {re}location, {re}location

Okay, like I hinted at in my last post, I have many stories to go back and tell to catch up to the present day.  Since the easiest place to start is the beginning, that is where I'll go today.

Back in the fall of 2011, I was sitting on an audition panel for the winter play at the school where I once taught high school literature.  I freelanced as a producer for the preforming arts magnet after I decided to stay at home, and I really enjoyed still maintaining the relationship with the students and the theater program that I love.

I received a text from my husband during a break.  Text reads: How do you feel about Shanghai?

See, this is where you need a little backstory.  Neil and I had been discussing the possibility of moving overseas for years.  We knew that we were both open to the idea of moving for the right job, and my position as a teacher made it easy to hop from place to place while staying employed.

After our many domestic moves (like, 6?  maybe 7? since we were married in 2003), we knew that we needed a large town to be happy.  I told him that I was not interested in a country where women had to wear head scarves or were not afforded the same rights as men.  Other than those prerequisites, we decided to consider each opportunity as it occurred and make our choices based on what was right at that time.

I figured Europe.  Maybe South America.  I really never thought about Asia or China.  Then, that text.

My reply: I don't have a strong feeling one way or another.  Don't know much about it.

It came out during our conversation that Neil had been approached to see if he was interested in applying for a position for his company's Asia Pacific business unit, and that the position would involve travel but be centered in Shanghai.

My colleague for the auditions was very excited when I told him about the opportunity.  China had been on his bucket list for years, and he encouraged me to approach the idea with an open mind.

Lots of research ensued.  If I am honest, I waited to see how far the interviews would go before I got too in depth with my concerns.  But, they progressed quickly, and I had to catch up on my searches.  I saw a few things that had me concerned, but nothing completely turned me off the possibility.  My answer to Neil was that I would have to see it before I agreed to move there.

A few days later, we were invited to travel to Shanghai for a look-see visit and some final interviews.  Gulp.

Oh, and that is right about the time we found out we were pregnant again.  Harper had just turned one, and we were thrilled to be expecting again.  But expecting a baby AND moving to China?  Double Gulp.

We agreed to the look-see and scheduled it for early December.  I struggled with leaving Harper for a week, but there was no way to take her along for that short of a visit.  And I HAD to see the place before I would agree.  Good old Catch-22.

Neil and I got our first taste of the crazy long-distance flight and exactly what jet lag can do to a person (especially a person in her first trimester).  Shanghai impressed us.  The hotel at the Kerry was (and is) amazing.  Our dining experiences were all high-caliber.  We enjoyed the other expats we met.  And our concerns (water, air, hospitals and medical care, schools, etc) were all addressed, and the answers were pretty damn good.  We saw some housing that made us hopeful that we could find a place to live that we liked, even though we didn't find our place on that trip.

We liked it.

It was after that trip that I realized that Neil and I had switched from skeptical about the possibility to honestly hoping that he would get the job.  We found ourselves explaining to family and friends how different the experience of China is from the media portrayal of China.  (Example: Christmas carols were EVERYWHERE during our trip.  As were decorations and other holiday cheer.  Not exactly what we expected, but very cool).

Neil and I decided in the next few weeks that when/if the offer came in, we would make a choice based on the package offered.  Living well in China does unfortunately cost a good deal of money, and we would need to be sure that our housing allowance, insurance coverage, and other specifics in the offer allowed us the freedom to be comfortable in our new situation- and we found that you definitely pay extra for comfort.

I also added that I had two requirements: 1) I needed a second trip to China to square away giving birth and housing.  I agreed that if everything looked good at our anatomy ultrasound at 20 weeks, I would rather move together and have the baby in China over remaining in the States without Neil for months and flying with a newborn and a toddler. To do that comfortably, I needed to meet with doctors and see hospitals before I agreed to move to China before the birth. As much as I hated to be away from Harper again, it had to happen.

And 2) I said that we needed to move together.  In the past, I had done some moves alone while Neil went ahead to a job in a different city (not the lifting, of course).  HUGE undertaking.  Not fun.  And with the added complications of pregnancy, a toddler to wrangle, and an overseas move, I was not interested in going it alone.  Neil understood and agreed with both of my stipulations.

We finally got an offer.  The details were even better than we expected.  The trip was agreed to.  Neil was able to confirm that he could travel during his transition and then be home a couple weeks before the move so I would have his support.

Then we said yes.

So folks, that is how it happened.  The entire journey from text to signed dotted line took about 4 months and lots of conversations and what if scenarios.  I'll go into more detail in some other posts about the packing process and research we did.

Now, I am going off to rest. Harper is happily napping away right now, and we are planning a family pool trip this afternoon.  Both she and Neil are finally feeling some relief from their colds, and we are slowly normalizing our time.  I promise to work in a few pictures in the next post for your viewing pleasure.