ex·pa·tri·ate (n.) 1. One who has taken up residence in a foreign country, also known as an ex·pat.
A young family currently living in Shanghai, China by way of Atlanta, GA. A chronicle of the adjustments and adventures that come with creating a life in another culture.
She has a bit of the stereotypical red-headed temper. And stubbornness.
I decided to take a break from writing the story of Quinn's birth to bring you a few exhibits to prove the supposition.
Case Number One: Toddler wants the tent out of her room. Hilarity ensues.
Did you note how she totally played it off in the end? "Oh, I need to take my Halloween teddy to Daddy's office now."
Yeahhhhhhh.
Case Number Two: there was the day she played with some fun kitchen items at our friend's flat while we decided where to go for dinner. Once decided, we went to gather the girls. Harper INSISTED on taking the colander with her. Since nothing would be harmed, we said fine. Here are a few shots of a girl holding hands with Daddy on one side and clutching her stainless steel buddy on the other.
The people at the restaurant thought it was hilarious. The German guys at the next table laughed and laughed.
Stubborn. And tenacious. Hopefully the traits will prove to be a strength for the young woman she becomes.
And now to add a little about the littlest Golson girl. Quinn is growing fast and starting to smile and coo. I attempted to get a coo on video, but instead got some milk on the newly cleaned changing pad.
And one more for good measure. Pay no attention to the banging in the background. Big sister was "cooking" using her play kitchen and babbling away about it.
Kind of like a "Things I Don't Want to Forget" entry at this point, but better late than never.
We moved to the new apartment when I was 37 weeks pregnant. And Shanghai was hot, hot, hot. And I was tired. And Harper was excited.
I entertained her (perhaps too often) with episodes of "Yo Gabba Gabba" and cuddles.
Our normal TV watching pose
Harper would climb into my lap and make herself comfortable by leaning on the bump. Sometimes, she would even bring a snack. The cuddling became routine, and I enjoyed time with my toddles each day. Neil added a few movies to our routine- the biggest hits were "Aladdin" and "Monster's Inc."
Another day, another cuddle. Excuse the swollen... well, everything.
I thanked God every single day for Ayi Wu. She adores Harper, and Harper loves playing with Ayi. Their relationship allowed me to rest and have some time to adjust to Shanghai on my own terms before baby Quinn arrived.
Okay. I have lived the last few weeks in denial about how soon little sister will be arriving. The reality is sinking in now though- at 8 1/2 months pregnant (34 weeks), I cannot take Harper to the pool alone anymore. Honestly, it has been a few weeks since I tried.
You see, the kid ADORES the water. She comes by it honestly- both Neil and I really enjoy swimming and water sports, and we actually met for the first time in a lifeguarding certification renewal class.
When you ask Harper if she would like to go to the pool, you must be ready to get her there in the next ten minutes else she might burst with excitement. Maybe even tunnel straight through the wall a la the Tasmanian Devil if you don't move fast enough for her taste. Reason number one I don't do it alone: I don't do much of anything quickly anymore and putting on my bathing suit is an act I can only compare to the hippo ballet dance in Fantasia. Except it takes longer.
Also, the child has zero interest in the kiddie pool. She likes the water feature that spills water from brightly-colored containers, but Harper has little interest in actually swimming there. The tile on the bottom is glazed and therefore slippery, and she needs traction in her life.
Well, that leaves the "hot tub" and large lap pool/ adult pool. The lattert has no stairs as entrance- only ladders. And ladders are fine, but one cannot enter the water on the ladder while holding a toddler- never mind while being extremely pregnant. And Harper is not so good at staying on the side while I get in or out. Sister has to MOVE.
And she loves the hot tub (disclaimer: it is not the 100+ degree hot tub we know and love in America. It's like a really warm bath- just around body temperature or a bit more). With all the benches and jets to play with, she is in heaven in there.
However, dear readers, the main reason my overly pregnant self does not take Harper to the pool alone is her fearlessness in water. Not an ounce of healthy concern in her little toddler body. We have had her in it since she was a little bug, and she is incredibly comfortable maneuvering on her own and with help. She blows bubbles, kicks her feet, jumps in from the side, pulls herself up, wants to be tossed/ thrown/ bobbed/ dunked by us. We just started working with a kick board and the only skill we continue to have an issue with is the back float. I mean, why hold still when you can swim?
As illustration, I have a couple videos to share. First, in the hot tub with Daddy.
No, not the actual expected child. A new doll, whose current name is, of course, baby.
Harper has had a soft baby doll since just after her first birthday; also read, when we found out we were pregnant again. She learned to hug and kiss the baby, and Harper enjoying keeping that baby in her crib to cuddle and play with when she woke up.
She will be 21 months old when her little sister arrives, and that is awfully young to try to understand what is happening in her life. My main strategy to help her cope involved getting her another baby doll- a bit more realistic and easy to play with- a some accessories to go with it. After a trip to Target, I stocked our air shipment with a new doll complete with stroller, car seat, high chair, pack and play, changing table, and carrier.
We will set up most of the accessories when we set up the baby's room. The idea is that Harper can participate in the baby care by using her doll- when we change a diaper, Harper can do it too. When I put Quinn in the carrier, Harper can wear baby too. I plan to try to include Harper when I can, and I am hoping the plan helps her adjust to a family of four.
Well, when the air shipment arrived, I decide to open the doll and her stroller as a special new toy. She LOVES baby. And the stroller? Pretty much her favorite. Check out my little Jackie O- complete with her favorite necklace- five minutes after the box was opened.
A few nights later, Harper and I went along while Daddy played tennis at a friend's compound. We hit the sandbox, the playground, ate some picnic-style, and then Harper and I played on the empty court next to the one Daddy was using. I brought out the stroller and the baby. Between the stroller and the tennis balls, she was throughly entertained.
And another one:
I think she might actually have potential as a future Wimbledon ball girl.
The washer and dryer problem has multiplied. The clothes were not drying. Ever. I was basically steaming them to death, and I had no idea what was wrong. I called downstairs, they said to empty the tray. I looked for a tray. Nope, didn't see one. Saw a heat conductor thingy, tried to dump it, but alas, nothing to dump out.
Then the washer stopped working. Well, it would start a cycle, ding to say done, then the clothes would be sopping wet when I opened it. I gave up and called for a service man to come up.
Service man speaks no English. He assessed the situation, called downstairs for a front desk clerk, and then proceeded to speak to her rapidly in Mandarin. She called me in, said that the service guy said I needed a lesson on the machines. Well, duh, dude. They then explained that the setting I chose on the washer was just a rinse cycle. Doh.
In my defense, I chose it based only on the temperature reading and the length of time on the display. It was all I had to go on.
He then showed me the cycles I would want to use, the buttons and what they do, and such. He made me laugh because he clearly thought I was dense- many times he said, don't touch that, just make sure these lights are on, only use this or this. I was incredibly thankful. And I would get actually clean clothes instead of just incredibly well-rinsed clothes.
And I asked about the dryer while he was there. The man reaches up, pulls on the side of the top of the machine (well above my head) and pulls out a giant tray full of water. You see dear readers, the machine is not vented. The steam collects in the tray, condenses, and you empty it after each cycle or two. Or else, steamed clothes that do not dry.
I could have kissed that Chinese service man right on his mouth.
Small side note: I may have broken the microwave today. When it just stops working in the middle of cooking your frozen lasagna for lunch? And then won't turn back on for an hour? That's broken, right?
Other items to remember:
Every time Harper sees the stroller in the apartment, she says "bye-bye?" and pushes it. She loves our trips out so much that we have taken to hiding the stroller in the guest bathroom to keep her from pitching a fit to go out when she gets bored.
We finally opened a set of blocks we have been saving since Christmas. My Aunt Janie gave them to Harper, and they are blocks in the classic style, but with Chinese lessons on them. Simple words, characters, phrases. She LOVES them. Harper wants either Neil or I to sit with her and build tower after tower and makes the funniest shocked face when she knocks them down.
Harper has a "lift-the-flap" book of animals at the zoo. The first set of flaps focus on animal sounds. She picks up the books hissing for the snake sound every time. Takes after her Papaw, there.
I just made a trip to Metro- think Sam's, Costco, BJs- and was ridiculously excited to buy a broom and dustpan with a stand-up handle. No more pregnant lady on the floor trying sweep up around the high chair. High class right there, people.
Harper's pure joy when we opened the air shipment and she rediscovered her chair and her musical instruments. We even opened a new baby and a stroller. Of course, she LOVED it. Strolled that baby all the way to the mall for a grocery shopping trip. She was the talk of the town, I tell ya.
Quick post without a ton of content, but I thought I would show-off the toddles while she (sort of) naps. She is currently fighting it. The child normally loves any and all forms of sleep, so this is unusual. Molars are hell, people.
Anyway, I talked in a pervious post about Harper's love of the word YEESH. I thought I would catch it on video for all her adoring fans out there.
And then from today's failed nap. I discovered via monitor that Harper was not sleeping, but she was instead playing in her pack n play. Very odd for her since she has only a few small books, a seahorse (for you old skool people, it is the current incarnation on the glowworm), a few pacis, and a teething toy.
When I went in, I discovered she had customized the pack n play to suit her specifics needs and was very proud of herself.
But I was a mean mommy. I removed the treasures, velcroed down the base, replaced the sheet, and put her back down for the nap. Very unpopular move. Well, I did take a few pictures and a video first. Naturally.
There you go, dear friends. I am now going to tip-toe away, as I think we have finally achieved sleep...
Things are going well, and I thought I would take a break from writing some recaps to give you the details of our first week in Shanghai.
Neil is doing incredibly well. He picked up the same cold on the airplane that Harper got, but luckily he was able to shake it within a few days. Work is going well, and he has been able to get home for dinner most nights. We are enjoying the time together in the early mornings immensely and have had family breakfasts most everyday.
I am doing pretty well myself. I managed to avoid the airplane cold and only had to contend with jet lag and confused toddler. Some of you know that this pregnancy has left me pretty sick throughout the entire thing, and I am happy to report that my medicine has managed to help me stay on track and feeling as well as I did stateside. I have an appointment next week with my new OB, and I am hoping that we will get some idea of when the delivery will be scheduled within the next few appointments.
My transition has been great so far- everyone in our apartment complex is friendly and outgoing. There are lots of kids and moms at the playgrounds and restaurants to talk to and visit with. Harper is outgoing and social and makes getting to know new friends easy for both of us. Neil used to joke when we first met that I could form life-long friendships in the line at the grocery store check-out. While he is relying on hyperbole there, I am finding that my extroverted personality is coming in handy throughout the week.
And Harper is adjusting so well. Sure, she is a toddler. We have challenges. Like, a lack of baby-proofed cabinets in the kitchen and meltdowns over the iPad going back into the drawer when her episode of "Gab-Gab" is over. But mostly she is her sweet, funny self.
We have explored the apartment fully, and her favorite feature by far is the windows and wide windowsills. She loves to sit on them and plays lots of games with the curtains. The video is on the longer side, but it will give you an idea of how independent playtime in the apartment goes right now.
Harper and I take small excursions out of the apartment daily- usually an morning excursion and an afternoon one as well. There are lots of things to do in our immediate area- the outdoor playground, the kid's pool, the Adventure Zone indoor playground, walking the mall, walking the courtyard, eating at one of the many, many restaurants, or getting chores done like grocery shopping. As always, she loves the opportunity to meet people and see other kids. Here is a video of Harper playing with some Chinese kids in the courtyard this morning- I took the video as an afterthought at the end of the visiting session, but she played and visited with these kids and their families for a good ten or fifteen minutes.
We have been working on coordinating our shipments and establishing residency visas for Harper and me. Tons of paperwork and red tape, but luckily we have great guides with the relocation through Neil's company.
One thing that has surprised me is the sheer amount of passport-sized photos required for this move. Silly, but it is a LOT. No exaggerating, I think I have now had almost 30 copies made for different passports, visas, applications, and the like. Even our gym memberships asked for photos.
Another observation before I wrap this post up- there is not voicemail service in Shanghai. None. The Chinese do not use it. Though I was loathe to check my voicemail in the States, call screening does not really work unless there is voicemail to rely upon on the other end. So, you just answer every call. Had not been an issue until today when a lady called me four or five times before she realized that I did not speak Mandarin.
Okay folks, that's a quick update in the books. And I'll have a few recap posts ready to go in the next few days. More to come soon.
From time to time, I am going to just bullet list some items that are not a post in themselves, but small points to keep a record of going forward.
- Harper is so friendly with everyone. She loves to run up to the front desk and greet the ladies there every single time we pass through the lobby. We pass through the lobby multiple times per day. Never gets old.
- Our first true Chinese phrase we learned (besides ni hao and shin shin)? Hong toufa. What does mean? Red hair. We hear that a lot.
- Harper's version of ni hao sounds an awful lot like "now" but said like a meowing cat. We think she is a bit confused.
- Our first home cooked meal in China was spaghetti. Pretty good once we figured out the range.
- The washer and dryer are completely in Chinese. If not for the temperature and time that light up on the screen with each turn of the dial, I would be completely lost.
- When we went to sign up for our gym memberships, Harper was entertained by running circles around the gym desk. That was fine until she found the giant exercise ball. Then she entertained the entire gym with her pure joy of playing with the giant blue ball.
Devout reader. Teacher of the children. Lover of wine and marshmallows. A fan of the music. Excited about pull-through parking spaces and an extra snooze in the morning. Theater rat and car singer. Lucky wife and mom.
