Remembering the end of pregnancy

Kind of like a "Things I Don't Want to Forget" entry at this point, but better late than never.

We moved to the new apartment when I was 37 weeks pregnant.  And Shanghai was hot, hot, hot.  And I was tired.  And Harper was excited.

I entertained her (perhaps too often) with episodes of "Yo Gabba Gabba" and cuddles.

Our normal TV watching pose

Harper would climb into my lap and make herself comfortable by leaning on the bump.  Sometimes, she would even bring a snack.  The cuddling became routine, and I enjoyed time with my toddles each day.  Neil added a few movies to our routine- the biggest hits were "Aladdin" and "Monster's Inc."  

Another day, another cuddle.  Excuse the swollen... well, everything.

I thanked God every single day for Ayi Wu.  She adores Harper, and Harper loves playing with Ayi.  Their relationship allowed me to rest and have some time to adjust to Shanghai on my own terms before  baby Quinn arrived.  

I don't actually know where to start

So, I'll opt for where I left off.  The move.

We moved out of the hotel residence apartment to our current (permanent) apartment home on the 27th of July, which also happened to be Neil's birthday.

I was 27 weeks pregnant.  My husband was traveling more than he was home.  It was incredibly hot.  These are the things that I remember vividly.

However, I also recall how wonderful it was to receive delivery of our main shipment from the States.  All our stuff was finally here!  And in our new home!  Granted, it was not organized nor was our home set-up for everyday life- much less set-up to welcome a brand new baby in two weeks- but it was at least here!

I sat and checked off each box as it arrived.

The moving company was awesome and put all of the boxes in the rooms I requested and then unpacked and assembled anything I asked,  Neil arrived home a few hours after the delivery began, and we spent the day with just the shipment.  

On the 28th, a few friends and our driver helped us move our suitcases and a few boxes of items we acquired since moving here from the hotel to the apartment.  From that point on, we were in our home.

The to-do list was (and still is) a mile long.  And it had to be prioritized based on the baby arriving in a matter of weeks and having a place of our long-term guests, Neil's mom and dad, to comfortably stay for three weeks.  One problem.

Neil went back out of town the following Monday

Luckily, I already have amazing friends here in Shanghai, and two of them came over and helped me sort and organize both the guest bedroom and the kid's rooms.  It was amazing.  I was so pleased, but Neil was truly ecstatic when he returned home to find that the majority of his weekend had been cleared to work on other projects.

Things have changed so much since then; we are fairly settled and getting more organized every day.  The place is really starting to feel like ours.  But, I am still driven crazy by the lack of art on the walls (which are made of concrete and plaster.  One does not just hammer in a nail and solve the problem) and the unfinished nature of Quinn's nursery.  But, we have time.  And that is a good thing.

And, on a final note, here is the beginning of the long excuse as to my hiatus.  When we stayed at the hotel, the wifi signal was routed in a way that allowed access to sites usually blocked in China- Facebook, Blogger (and any blog, for that matter), Twitter, and other social networks.  We moved and POOF!  Access denied.  We knew the answer to fix the issue.  But, Neil was traveling and needed to be home to fix it.  When he got home, turns out we needed a new router too.  That piece arrived from the US along with his parents.  The day after his parents arrived... I had a baby.

And family has dominated that last four weeks as we settled into a new rhythm and pace and routine.  And I let the blog continue to what while I slept when I could, cuddled when I could, and cared for myself as best I could.

More posts to come, but know that we are are settled in and everyone is doing really well here.  I miss my family and my friends so much.

I leave you all with a few pictures of the beautiful garden walkways and fountains in our apartment complex.  The girls and I take walks through them each evening before dinner, as do many other families with small children. That time together is fast becoming one of my favorite parts of the day.

Triumphant return

Hi.

Many reasons.  We moved (!!!) and lost access to Blogger for weeks.

The week we got it back, I had a baby.

That baby likes to eat.  And I like to sleep.

Hence why there have been no updates lately.  However, I started writing again yesterday, and I will try to write a little each day to catch you all up.  I have a bunch to share.

The blog make-over should be installed soon, too.  Not only will I have content on the blog, but it should be a pretty blog soon as well!

Okay, back to the toddles and the squishy baby.  See you all very soon!

Teaser picture: Harper sharing her kisses with little sister, Quinn.

The bumpdate post

I generally don't talk about this stuff on the interwebs.  Part modesty, part fatigue from the same kind of updates over and over, part "do people really want to know about this?"  I am putting this post together based on the FAQ I get from friends and family and based on the other types of posts I see out there in blogland.  If you are curious about an aspect of the "pregnant in another country" vibe that I don't cover, feel free to ask in a comment.

Okay, so first.  I am pretty darn pregnant.  I sent Neil a text today that read, "Not to alarm you or anything, but we are having a baby in less than a month.  HOLYSHIT!"  His response, "What?!?!?"

God bless that man.

We are scheduled for a c-section on August 10, 2012 to welcome our little girl, Quinn Scarlett, to the family.  Here is a picture from a week ago- excuse the self-portrait, but my husband is traveling a ton.  I realized that I had very few pics of this pregnancy, so I decided to snap one while I was thinking about it.

Yes, I used the Instagram version.  It was cropped already, and I am lazy.  

In that shot, I am 33 weeks and a couple days.  I swear the belly has grown inches since then.  I had a play group that week, and when a mom from that group saw me the other day, she commented on how much the belly had grown. (Yes, in a tactful way.  It was sweeter than it sounds.)

Let me talk a minute about pregnancy and moving to another country.  Yes, it is daunting.  I loved my doctors in Atlanta.  I was sad to leave their practice and comfort.  When I did my research online using search engines and  message boards, I found that there were many viable options for birth here that were extremely similar to the US.  I even started an email relationship with someone who writes about health care in Shanghai- specializing in women's care- and she was a few months ahead of me in her third pregnancy.  I came around to the idea.

Neil and I had many discussions about what was best for our family.  First priority, of course, was the health of both the baby and me.  We decided our second priority was to keep the family together as much as possible; though the idea of moving out of my medical comfort zone was daunting, even more so was the idea of living separate lives for months while he started a new job and I went through third trimester.   Not to mention separating Neil and Harper for months with only a couple visits.  Since I decided that it was a viable option to have the baby in China, we set up two main criterion for the final choice.  If the anatomy ultrasound at 20 weeks found no complications or problematic developments, we would take a second trip to China to meet doctors and tour hospitals.  As long as I was happy with what I found, we would move here as a family.

The ultrasound was perfectly fine, and my doctors saw no medical reason to stay in the US.  The hospital tours and doctors I met were lovely, though different than their US counterparts, and I was able to easily decide which hospital and which doctor I preferred.  The hospitals I saw were private, international hospitals.  Very expensive for most people who don't have insurance- and can be expensive for those whose coverage does not extend as far as others.  Luckily, we have excellent coverage with Neil's company and our costs won't be much different than Harper's birth.  

I went in with a long list of questions for the doctors, and the answers were the same as they were in the States- Husband in the OR was fine, c-section procedure the same, rooming in with baby fine, duration of stay, recovery, tests and appointment schedule, all the answers were exactly what my doctor at home would have said.  The rooms were nice; the hospital clean.  I saw good practices as far as masks and gloves and hand-washing and all that jazz.  The biggest difference here is that the doctor's offices are in the hospital not a separate shop.  So the vibe of the basic appointment feels more like you've gone to the ER.  They also do "package deals" were you can pay a set discounted price for all your prenatal tests and care at once- and then they have packages for birth as well.  Seems strange at first, but I guess it makes sense when you want someone to have comprehensive care.  And no, we did not get the package deal.  Doesn't make sense this late in the game.  

I'll do a more detailed comparison of the care later.  I've only done three appointments here including the initial visit, so I have more to learn and experience before I feel comfortable commenting in full.  As of right now, I feel quite good about my level of care and my doctors.  

I have also planned a post about the cultural differences around pregnancy and birth here versus the States.  The customs and practices are different, and I am finding it interesting to navigate the social mores and taboos. 

I'll end with a short and sweet Q & A that is popular among pregnant mommy bloggers.  Again, laziness abounds.   

How far along? 34 weeks and 5 days

Last appointment: Pretty basic, but did include a growth scan.  Happy to report that the little one is at 38% for her gestational age and predicted to be around 7 lbs at birth.  I know to many of you that sounds small, but Harper was less than five pounds at birth and came home at 4 lbs, 10 oz.  Seven pounds sounds HUGE to us.  (For those who may not know, I had a medical condition last pregnancy that required 12 weeks of bed rest and delivery just before 37 weeks.  Harper was perfectly healthy but a small baby to begin with)Total weight gain/loss: Still at a loss of around 23 lbs.  The hypermesis (fancy name for my-morning-sickness-never-ended-and-was-crippling-my-life-so-I-have-drugs-to-help-me-cope) is still around though better than it was.  I have leveled off the losing, though I did drop a little this last appointment.  Nothing of concern though. 
Maternity clothes? All of them.  
Stretch marks? I didn't get as lucky this time around, and I have a few battle scars on the belly.  I'm fine with it though.  I earned them. 
Sleep: Good lord, I miss the comfort of non-pregnant sleep.  I am still getting my hours in, but I wake up all the time.  Sometimes I can go back to sleep, sometimes the insomnia kicks in.  And turning over is hard with the belly.  But, part of my hypermesis drug regime is Unisom every night, so that helps me get at least 6 hours in.  Compared to life with a newborn, I am Rip Van Wrinkle. 
Best moment this week: Harper seeing the belly move and staring like I was an alien.  She is also pretty pissed that my lap is slowly whittling away and makes her opinion known. 
Movement:  All the time, and you can see the big rolls now.  A few times I have caught people staring in public.  It's getting a bit more painful now that she is so big, but still makes me smile.  And the hiccups are amusing but are full body shakes now as well. 
Food cravings: Cereal.  Pop tarts.  PB&Js.  And I would KILL for a glass of non-heartburn inducing Sav Blanc in this heat.
Food aversions:  Anything with a strong/ spicy smell or flavor.  I am liking the mild right now.  Not being too adventurous in my food choices because I don;t want to loose my dinner. 
Labor Signs: Some Braxton Hicks contractions, especially when I am particularly active or starting to dehydrate.  Nothing uncommon.
Belly Button in or out? Ummmm, flat?  Yeah.  I guess still in technically, but it is pretty much flattened. 
What I miss: Turning over without a major to-do, getting out of a sitting position without grunting, my lap, balance.  Wine on a hot day.  Being able to chase after Harper without getting winded.  
What I am looking forward to:  Well, the baby of course.  And introducing Harper to her sister.  But I am also looking forward to the weeks of Neil being home and us being together as a family of four. 

Still here.

Just got fairly busy.  A few posts in the works for you based on the past week's adventures: An update from my OB appointment on Friday, a detailing of our family trip to the Shanghai Science and Technology Museum on Saturday, some information about the ayi hire as our wonderful lady starts Tuesday (!), and a recounting of the Sunday Funday we are just finishing up.  Lots to share.  And with the ayi starting, I will have a bit more time to write.

Neil returned home on Thursday night very late.  It was so great to see him and hear about his travels first hand.  He took some amazing photos, and I will be sure to ask to share some here.

That Thursday had been a successful day in itself since Harper and I had a fab play date with some new friends.  I met another red-headed kid mama while at the Kerry playground one day, and we began to chat.  At the end of our visit, we exchanged information and planned to get the kids together again soon.  She invited another fun mama with a kiddo the same age as ours, and we set out to an indoor playground to let the kids run and play a bit.

First off, the indoor playgrounds here are serious business.  They are HUGE, and I am pretty sure Chuck E. Cheese would bow his head in shame if he saw what awesomeness they have here.  Hampster maze like levels, a mini-zipline, a ball shooting/ collecting/ air toy room, trampolines, kitchens, cars, ball pits, slides, FUN FOR ALL AGES.  I mean it, the parents can follow the kids right on up.  Here is a video I took while resting on the edge of the ball pit.  My mom-friend was following Harper (seen in the distance mid-video) as she climbed up into the hamster maze.

Only problems: Very busy.  Lots and LOTS of kids and parents everywhere.  And then the air conditioning.  We are spoiled in the Southern US- the A/C is usually out-of-control starting in April, so the instant relief you get when walking inside spoils you.  Actually, I used to take a sweater everywhere "just in case" it was too cool.  Yea, not here.  The air conditioning is not as powerful, not set to cool as far down, and not turned on until the business opens.

Translated: The play area is full of kids and grown-ups running around in a warm room.  Makes for a very sweaty pregnant lady.

Luckily, my new friends were willing to run after Harper when she decided to climb up into the second layer of the hamster-maze.  She is a daredevil climber now (thank you so much, Neil's genetic code), and the bigger the slide, the better.  Kid has very little fear.  Here she is on the slide:

And discovering the ball room:

We finished our trip with a yummy lunch and then an extra-long nap.  New friends and play dates are fast becoming one of my favorite parts of the China experience.

About this week

Not sure how much writing time I will have, but I will try to keep you all updated.  In the very list, I will start some posts so I don't lose ideas.

You see, I am flying solo this week.  Neil is out of town on business, and Harper and I are kicking it just the two of us.

Yup.  I was scared am anxious about it too.

However, I am set-up for success.  My husband is a rockstar.  He gifted me with two nights in a row of baby duty while I took a (pregnancy-approved) sleeping pill, donned earplugs, and checked out early wile he dealt with an unhappy-while-teething-molars baby.  And he stocked the kitchen, finished up the laundry, reorganized the kitchen to make dishes easier for me to reach, straightened the surfaces of piles, and on and on to help me be successful.

God, I love this man.

I also have the luxury I have mentioned before: Everywhere in Shanghai delivers.  I mean EVERYWHERE.  Grocery stores.  McDonald's. The corner store.  If I didn't want to leave the apartment, I would not have to do so.

But, of course, I will.  Stir crazy happens easily.  We have a few play dates planned and will frequent the playgrounds to let Harper run out some ya-yas.

I have already survived day one.  I am tired, but not exhausted.  I am hungry but putting down the computer in a moment to grab some food.  And so far, little miss is sleeping pretty well.   Also, the apartment is not collateral damage.

I'd call it a success.

About signs.

There are some really great signs in China.  Really great.

First of all, Shanghai spoils us.  The city is incredibly kind to foreigners, especially Anglos.  Most road signs are in both Mandarin and English.  Most areas that do business with expats also have dual-language signage.  There are times that one can easily forget that you are even in Asia.

But sometimes the signs just stop you in your tracks.  You guffaw. You make eye contact with your spouse and do that little head jerk that means "lookovertherebutdon'tLOOKlikeyou'relookingoverthere"
the first few times.  But now?

Now I take pictures.  Because those things are awesome.

So starts a regular feature we will call Shanghai Signs.  I have three pieces for you all this evening.

Found in our apartment

The light switches are very cool in modern in our apartment, and all labeled well for easy use.  Took me a couple weeks to realize that this did not, in fact, actually say "dining."  I now giggle almost every time I use it.

Found in our area grocery store- the fancy "Whole Foods" like one

The spelling of yogurt aside, the pronoun usage along with the adjective instead of the noun just makes for a great sign.  Totally communicates the point, so successful there, and totally makes me want frozen yogurt, so successful marketing.  (This commentary is also where I remind all of you that I am an English teacher by trade; therefore, grammatical explanations tend to be specific and use proper terms.  However, also note that I am writing this blog as a casual matter, and I take liberties with the general rules of grammar and usage to speak in an authentic voice and better communicate tone.  Contradiction?  You betcha.)

Also from said grocery store

I am going to have to write out for you the wording of this sign. 

Ahem.

"Meat, in its broadest definition, is animal tissue used as food. Most often it refers to skeletal muscle and associated fat, but it may also refer to non-muscle organs such as lungs, livers,"

You know what makes me hungry for steak?

Not that sign. 

On another note: Thanks for the concern about the finger.  I am doing well, the finger is healing and the throbbing has finally stopped.  I have a few posts in the hopper and should be posting on the regular yet again.  

  

Good news/ Bad news

Bad news first- I have sliced my finger.  Stupid bread knife.  I'm fine, no stitches, but that really great throbbing is in full effect.  So, typing is pretty difficult, and I'm not writing a bunch today.

Good news- I *think* I have officially hired an ayi!  She is wonderful, highly recommended, and great with kids.  I interviewed her yesterday and will be working out the details over the course of the week.  I promise that when the finger heals a bit, you will get a longer post about exactly what an ayi is, how I found this one, and what interviewing is like in different cultures.

Until then, I am off to get the dry cleaning ready, put in an order from the City Shop (grocery stores deliver for FREE!  Heaven.), and start reading my new Etiquette Guide to China.  Hopefully it stops raining so the toddles and I can get to the playground after nap time, but something tells me we might be taking a stroll through the mall.

And so, it begins.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Yes, I just quoted Semisonic.  You shall have to get used to those kinds of references, dear reader.

Here it is.  The blog.  Finally.  

I arrived in Shanghai, China on Tuesday with my husband, Neil, and our toddler, Harper, to start our journey abroad.  We will be here for approximately three years, and we are expecting the newest member of our family, another daughter, in early August.

Yes, yes.  I moved to China with a toddler while 7 months pregnant.  

I'll just let that sink in a minute. 

There are many stories I need to go back and tell.  Making the choice to relocate. The insanity that is preparing for an overseas move.  The shopping and research.  Packing.  The actual flight.  And now, adjusting an 18-month-old to an 12 hour time difference.  We will get there.  

I have been putting off starting this blog for months, and, of course, I now regret that choice.  Luckily, I have been making notes and sending assorted emails so I should be able to document the journey thus far in a few recaps to catch you all up pretty quickly. 

But for now, this.  The first post.  Getting it started by simply stating my intent: I want to have a record of this experience, and I intend to use this blog to share with friends, family, and interweb strangers a smattering of our adventures.  

I will not give up the experience of these events for the sake of documentation, so sometimes posts will be delayed.  Honestly, some of the best posts are reflective in nature, and I am not just saying that to fit my procrastantory tendencies.  Swearsies.

I will not try to classify this blog to fit into a directory; I am a mother, thus "mommy blogging" will surely happen.  We intent to travel and explore and experience; therefore, travel information and observations will no doubt be shared. And I am sure this blog will serve as an outlet for my creative expression, and I anticipate a few posts about my emotional state of being and mental health. 

In other words, it will be whatever it needs to be, and I hope you enjoy the ride, dear reader.  I know that we plan on it.  

Soon, I'll get the specific content started, but right now? I'm taking a nap.